"Speed" was a surprise hit movie. While it cost about $30,000,000 to make, it made back more than four times the cost. So, some Hollywood executives (with a collective IQ similar to that of a gerbil) thought...'if we do a sequel, we must spend $120,000,000 on it because THAT is why the first movie was such a success'. Not surprisingly, the movie tanked and it somehow has made it to IMDB's infamous Bottom 100 list--the 100 worst ranked major releases of all time.

In the original, Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock work to prevent a bus from exploding and killing folks. Now, because this is an overbloated sequel, they've placed the story aboard a cruise ship...which is also out of control and will kill everyone unless our heroes save it....though this time Reeves refused to reprise his role. So, they cast the rather bland Jason Patric in the lead...who offered little improvement other than he was very good at using sign language in one small scene.

How bad is this film? Well, not bad enough to be on the Bottom 100 list. So why is it on the list? After loving the first film, so many folks expected more of the same...and got nothing but a dull overblown action picture with little in the way to interest viewers....and I think THAT is why it made the list....because it disappointed so badly. Instead, I wish IMDB had a list for films with the worst ratio of cost to enjoyability of the film...in which case "Speed 2" would easily make the top 100.

By the way, this sequel ended up spending nearly as much for ONE crash scene as the budget for all of "Speed"! And, after paying $11,500,000 just to obtain Sandra Bullock for this film, you can only assume that the film simply had nothing left to pay competent writers. Instead, I assume, they hired some penguins to write the script....some very, very dull and untalented penguins!

I first saw SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL at the cinema. I was at the tender age of 16, and I thought it was great: action-packed, with great effects and a fun, DIE HARD-style storyline. Well, it still has all those things, but time has not been kind to SPEED 2, and watching as an adult I can see just how poor it is.

The problem with the film is the infantile nature of the script, which sounds as if it's been deliberately written for children. Jason Patric's clunky leading man I can forgive, but the supporting characters and their lame comedy are excruciating. The porter and the Scottish guy are bad enough, but Sandra Bullock takes the biscuit with her repetitive attempts at light humour. If ever a film made you despise someone, it's Bullock in this.

Otherwise, the story suffers from a little bloating and an ending that goes on way too long, but it does have some stuff to recommend it. The low rent action-man hijinks are a hoot, and Willem Dafoe is fantastic as the over-the-top villain, all teeth and hair and as crazy as he was in WILD AT HEART. The effects hold up pretty well, too.

A shame, then, about the child-friendly nature of the production; had this been a proper, adult-focused outing along the lines of UNDER SIEGE it could have been a damn sight better.

Annie Porter (Sandra Bullock) broke up with Jack. Relationships based on extreme circumstances rarely ever work. She's been dating a nice simple safe beach patrol cop Alex Shaw (Jason Patric) for the last 2 months. She runs into him taking a bad guy as a part of the SWAT team. He convinces her to go on a cruise to work out their relationship. John Geiger (Willem Dafoe) is a disgruntle employee who uses his computer skills and inside knowledge to hijack the ship sending it into danger. He forces the passengers to abandon ship. Not everybody gets out as deaf girl Drew is trapped in the elevator. Alex decides to stay behind when he suspects foul play.

It's really bad that Jack doesn't return. It's like a Die Hard movie without John McClane. Honestly, if they can't get Keanu Reeves back, I rather have Sandra Bullock save the day by herself. The movie never recovers from it. The first Speed is a manufactured plot but the writing is so good that it never felt fake. This is the exact opposite. Every move in the story feels fake. The first one pulls the audience right in. This one never does. The final boat crash has tons of destruction but it's played almost exclusively for laughs. It feels more like a spoof. It's fun as light weight action goes but I stop caring about the movie long before that.