"Secret Lives" unfolds with many of the techniques of film noir: mood lighting; insurance agent investigating a scam; murder; deceit; and plot twists. Unfortunately, the pacing of the film was labored and there simply was not enough action to support a crime drama.

Jill Thompson is a painter and art history teacher in Oregon. Ten years ago, her profligate husband Leonard died in a fire, leaving her financially strapped. Now, an insurance investigator, Mike McCoy, shows up at her doorstep with evidence that the husband had faked his death, moved to Washington state, and recently died of a heart attack while running in the cold with no shirt. Jill does not buy the story and begins to investigate herself the circumstances of her former husband's secret life and suspicious death.

St. Nicholas of Myra (good ol' Saint Nick) figures in the details that Jill discovers as clues leading to the truth about her husband. The quick-thinking Jill uses St. Nicholas as the password to enter Leonard's multi-million-dollar bank account. This is one of the more interesting details in a by-the-numbers action film.

As the narrative gets bogged down in alternative scenes in Oregon and Washington, there is very little action other than an incident where Jill is nearly run off the road. There are far too many stretches filled with conversations that do not advance the film's action. Other characters include Jill's friend and attorney, Shelby; an incompetent police officer in Washington; and a bank teller who knows more about Leonard than she is letting on.

Jill was an engaging heroine on the trail of her husband's killer. But the film needed greater sparks in the developing relationship between Jill and the insurance man Mike. A touch of romance developed when they kissed. But true to the form of this sluggish film, the kiss was followed by a scene at the motel where they are staying: Jill and Mike proceed to enter separate rooms!!!

Jill Thompson (Daphne Zuniga) lost her husband ten years ago, leaving her little except debts. Insurance agent Mike McCoy tells her that her husband had actually died a week earlier. She discovers that he lived a life of comfort and secrets. Shelby (Lisa Ryder) is her lawyer friend.

It makes no sense that she would trust Mike or not call the cops after the various incidents. At the very least, an insurance agent would want whatever money as a matter of good business. Even an honest agent can't be on her side. She's too stupid. In these movies, the protagonist never calls the cops. That's bad writing. The turn is not inevitable but it's not compelling. As for the ending, her car makes no sense unless the girlfriend sabotaged it. In which case, he wouldn't know that and his slow walk would make no sense. It's a bunch of non-sense anyways.

Sometimes I feel like slumming, and I watch one of these Lifetime-type movies just out of curiosity. This one has a decent premise, but it rates a 10 on the implausibility meter. This is one of those films in which you just sit there and count the absurdities, shaking your head in disbelief that a screenwriter was actually serious about this. Or maybe he wasn't....? A women discovers that her husband, thought to be killed in a fire 10 years ago, has recently turned up dead in an adjacent state. Apparently, he faked his death and has been living off of money he embezzled from his company. The cops get involved. The woman goes to the crime scene in the woods where her husband's body was discovered. She immediately finds her husband's pendant on the ground. The cops have had dozens of crime scene techs all over this spot, and they missed it? She goes to his house, wanting to look for clues. The cop at the house says he can't let her disturb anything in a death investigation. She begs him to let her in, so he shrugs and says OK. She opens drawers, riffles through letters and papers....Give me a break. No cop on earth would allow this. She hacks into her husband's bank account online and finds that he withdrew half the money he embezzled, $5 million. So the guy embezzles money and puts it in a bank account? Did a 10 year old write this? She gets romantically involved with the insurance investigator who is involved in the case. She does nothing to verify who he is. You can guess the rest. I just expended a lot of words on a grade Z film that is so stupid, it will insult your intelligence. Perhaps I can save some viewers from wasting their time. You're welcome!