Werewolves on Wheels, an obscure biker movie from the early 70s, caught my attention first not necessarily because I was seeking the title itself out, but because I was looking for clothing related to grindhouse movies (in other words, type in 'Grindhouse' on ebay, and aside from the obvious from this year you might find this). The shirt, which featured leather-clad, werewolf bikers rolling around with a girls hanging from their sides and a message about the 'bride of Satan' intrigued me enough to get it even before purchasing the movie. The expectations I had, even as a biker movie fan, weren't too high (as far as for awesomely stupid biker movies I mean). But having watched it, well...it's as good, or as bad, as one might expect. It's about as cheesy, trashy, tasteless, and almost (if you're a Satanist, or perhaps a werewolf) offensive, but it's also uproarious in the ways that matter most.

As long as one doesn't take it in the least bit of serious context- aside as being a form of gratuitous piece of pulp art with the redeeming quality of a Chihuahua eating a bowl of ice cream- it makes for some true would-be drive-in fun. A group of bikers called the Devil's Advocates (heh) stop off one night near what looks like some convent. Monks come out, feed them wine and huge Ritz crackers (yeah, that's right),and one of the biker's 'mamas' gets indoctrinated by the monks into the wonderful world of Satanism. The bikers don't stand for it, however, when they find she's been taken away, and proceed to stomp some monk tail. But soon after leaving the site, they start to notice that there's some strange goings on at nights- including some dead members- and there's one member of the group, super superstitious, who sees what is "really" going on.

Granted, if you're looking moreso for the werewolves, you might be disappointed; they don't show up until about halfway through the movie, so it is, at worst, a case of the poster and t-shirt being a bit more honest (or however Werewolves in Wheels can get) than the finished product itself. But in a sense it works better as a f***ed up hybrid, anyway, where low-rent ripping off (or riffing, however you want to call it) Rosemary's Baby goes hand in hand with every single biker movie cliché (minus the cops, which is a plus in this case) that was ever cooked up by AIP. By the end, this ten-thousand something production leaves behind in its wake a lot of giggles and even some belly laughs, and it could even make for an excellent kind of retro-throwback side of a double-feature with a prudent Sci-fi channel movie of the week. Bottom line, I liked it, but against my better judgment.

I have wanted to see this movie for YEARS, considering it has one of the greatest titles ever. What I was hoping for was bikers riding along in full wolfman makeup, like the poster suggests. What I got was hippies galavanting across a desert and two(I think its two, it might be just one) members of the crew change into wolf form within the last 2-3 minutes of the movie. I can't say that I think it's art, unless you can watch 'Manos, the Hands of Fate" and think that's art...attempted art, I suppose. To be clear, this movie is NOT as bad as Manos, as very few movies ever made are awful to that degree. Still, the title made me think I would enjoy this movie enthusiastically as it implies the kind of shlocky camp I find amusing and I came away incredibly disappointed...and bored.

WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS is a cheapo early '70s independent movie that screams "shot on a budget". Some maverick producers had the idea of riding the wave of not one but two '70s film trends, the biker flick and the horror movie, combining them into an unwieldy and unwelcome concoction to say the least.

Of course, with that title this film is irresistible, but it's also rather dull. Horror fans hoping for werewolf action will be disappointed to learn that the werewolf scenes are limited to a couple of brief fights and murders with characters wearing what look like reject masks from an old Lon Chaney movie.

For much of the running time this is a straightforward biker flick, padded out with some very bad acting and lots scenes of bikers riding down an empty highway in the blazing sunshine while music blares on the soundtrack. There are no sympathetic or even interesting characters here, the horror feels very lukewarm, and lots of scenes are shot in the dark so you can't see what's going on. Seriously, it's not very good.