In continuing to review werewolf movies in chronological order, I'm now at 1972 and this: a movie written, photographed, directed, and featured in two roles by one Andy Milligan. There are both rats and werewolves, all right, but it's mostly a dysfunctional family drama between siblings and the elderly father in charge of them all. Like I said, Milligan plays two roles: one who sells rats to one sister Monica, and another who sells a gun to other sister Diana. Dialogue is mostly exposition that one wouldn't keep saying in real life and it's constantly said quickly most of the time except for those two scenes involving Milligan. He's not a good director or writer but I'll say this about him-I was never bored, that's for sure! So on that note, give The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! a chance if you're curious enough...

Andy Milligan's unforgettably titled The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! is listed in my trusty The Official Splatter Movie Guide by John McCarty, although its inclusion puzzles me, for it features next to no gore. What it does have are interminable scenes of terrible dialogue, dreadful acting, poor sound quality and the general level of technical ineptitude that I have come to expect from exploitation legend Milligan.

The godawful story sees a young married couple arrive in England to visit wife Diana's family, the Mooney's, who harbour a dreadful secret: they are all werewolves. Even with the worst of films, I try to find some sort of positive, but this one has me beaten: I can't find anything good to say about it. Not one thing. In fact, so excruciatingly amateurish and incredibly dull is this film that, even if it had buckets of bargain basement blood and guts, I can't see it being much easier to bear.

I rate The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! a pitiful 1/10, although I wish I could give the film 0/10 for including a repulsive scene of unnecessary animal cruelty, the stabbing and nailing of a live mouse.

The tedious condescension of the other reviews notwithstanding, this film passes a number of screen tests that many a more mainstream big budget flick fails: does it have a horror film's one essential, i.e., atmosphere? In spades, although an original score would have helped sustain it better; do the characters dispatch their difficult roles convincingly or do they camp it up in a desire to wink at the audience to let us know that they don't take such an over-the-top scenario seriously? Very convincingly indeed. Mad Monica comes across as especially terrifying, and madness is always one of the hardest personas to bring off. (The actor playing the rather subdued character of Gerald is, perhaps an exception here, but the fault may reside with the part itself, which is the only "normal" voice in the action and suffers from some degree of underwriting.) And finally, the trump question of all dramaturgy: do you find yourself wanting to know how "Rats" ends and what becomes of its characters. Emphatically yes!