SPOILER ALERT!!

Ineffectual English douchebag is bewildered at the prospect of changing a flat tire and fails miserably in his fundamental masculine role as protector of fiancee. When she quickly realizes that she has doomed herself to a lifetime propping up a half-man who clearly can't be depended on in any life crisis, she sees immediate death as the obviously superior option. But when the cuck she'd rather be dead than stuck with discovers her body upon his return from the playground (seriously),he does what any abject failure of basic manhood would do and immediately abandons her corpse to be dealt with by actual adults in order to take bloody cheapshot with his trusty tire iron at the same random perpetrators he utterly failed to handle when it truly counted back with his lady on holiday in Blackpool (which, I'm guessing, is like an even more depressing British equivalent of the faded, kitschy tourist trap towns found on the American East Coast like Atlantic City or Niagara Falls--the type of inevitable vacation spot you drive hours and hours to get to and almost immediately realize is disturbingly home to waaay too many low-end wax museums for a town of this, or any, size),armed like a little bitch with the tire iron behind his back as seen in the totally on-point film poster above, his weapon of choice being one of the many deeply unsubtle in-your-bloody-face ironies lurking in this offensive and badly mis-calibrated revenge parable.

The message here is ostensibly even more ghastly and irresponsible than the hardcore twisted justice dispensed in the original grindhouse-type rape revenge shock films of 1970's American underground cinema, like the original Last House on the Left or I Spit on Your Grave, both much better-executed films than the one I've felt morally compelled to trash so comprehensively here. By having the bloody, cowardly phallic revenge delivered by the neutered, complete failure male "survivor" character--instead of by the senselessly brutalized but resilient and always BADASS female victim-- and for said revenge to come in such an overcompensating, deeply misogynistic manner just seems like a complete and total misreading of the current zeitgeist involving sexual assault and its long-felt aftermath, for both the shitbag perpetrators and their no-longer-cowering victims, who are managing to reclaim their personhood and dignity through collective action and by increasing public awareness from the ground-up. Talk about some "Toxic Masculinity"!....I'm not sure if that term has ever been more deserving than when applied to the crudely out of touch message of this film. I'll even go so far as to claim the following: this film is so offensive and woefully misguided that Donald Trump could watch this bottomless pit dumpster inferno and be left with a bad taste in his mouth, uncomfortable at what he just witnessed. Yes, I'm serious. The town of Blackpool should surely bring legal action against these filmmakers for municipal slander; no crap town deserves this kind of treatment, not even Reno.

In sum, this is a deeply regressive and flaccid twist on an already troubling genre of hardcore rape revenge films that were perfected and thus quickly made gratuitous over 40 years ago in the Golden Age of Lowbrow Hardcore also known as the 1970s American underground scene. Why these filmmakers chose to appropriate and then recklessly misapply the barbaric sexual politics of those cultural relics from a much less socially evolved era NOW IN 2018, at the seeming high point of the transformational social changes born of the #MeToo tsunami, is beyond all comprehension. But rather than stoke your own outrage by watching it for yourself, best just to skip this abomination altogether so as to disincentivize any further cinematic treks down this muddy, dangerous dirt road to Nowhere, UK.

Oh, and the lead actor's eyebrows were just horrific and infuriating, an affront to respectable body hair everywhere. They were surely the main reason our goofy lead couple were targeted by the lecherous but not-at-all-physically-intimidating crew of stumbling-drunk STAG PIRATE BULLIES on the mean streets of Blackpool in the first place. The real lesson is obvious: ladies, don't be caught anywhere in public, even in a backwater dump like Blackpool, being escorted by a dude with those kind of untamed, senselessly unkempt brows who also also forces you to change flat tires yourself. All women deserve a better partner than this feckless twat.