Four college kids opt to do the "dark tour of LA." Elise (Clara Mamet) is really into it and since she is hot everyone goes along. They stay in a room where there was a suicide. They end up befriending Alice (Sophie Dalah) a hard core Satanist waif who seals their fate.

The film was low budget. Other than the suicide, you didn't see much happen on camera, just the after effects. This was fine and the film peaked my interest until the end which grew tiresome as we discover how many different ways Sarah Hyland can scream and that pentagrams drawn on a wall really are not scary.

Guide: F-word. Brief nudity (Sophie Dalah)

'Satanic' drew me into seeing it, with a cool poster/cover, an intriguing and quite creative premise and as someone with a general appreciation for horror. That it was low-budget, which from frequent personal experience is rarely a good sign due to that there are so many poor ones out there, made me though apprehensive.

It is sadly however yet another film seen recently, hence some reiteration because the exact same strengths and flaws are here present in those films, that to me was incredibly disappointing considering its potential which it doesn't do anywhere near enough with. 'Satanic' is very weak, with a plethora of problems (fairly big ones too) and doesn't do enough with its potential, which was hardly small. There are however a couple of decent, even good, qualities in 'Sanatic'.

Lets start with the positives. The scenery is atmospheric and spooky and is not too schlocky, some decent shots here.

Best thing about 'Satanic' is the opening, which was attention grabbing and kept me hooked. Which is why it is such a shame that 'Satanic' went downhill so drastically.

Going on further to the negatives, the story does feel over-stretched and some of it feels vague, under-explained in the last third where the film especially became duller, more predictable, more senseless and less scary. Too many characters are too sketchy and with nowhere near enough to make one want to endear to them. Their irritating and illogical decision making and behaviours frustrates.

Making the film feel bland and forgettable with not enough heart put into it. The effects are ropy at best, the sound quality is obvious and utilised cheaply (being too loud in the build ups and people's reactions) and it's best not mentioning the histrionic and ridiculously annoying acting.

Dialogue can be stilted and rambling while the pace goes to a standstill after the promising opening and drags on forever, never recovering. The second half is interminable. Found too many the supposedly shocking moments not surprising or scary and the supposedly creepy atmosphere dreary, due to the excessive obviousness and the lack of tension and suspense.

A lot of 'Satanic' has underdeveloped plot elements and often nonsensical, irritating and confusing character motivations, while too many of the things to make you jump or shocked are far from creative or scary and are pretty tame. The ending makes the film finish on an incomplete and confused whimper.

There is not enough threat here and what there is of it tends to be used poorly, while the psychological elements are unimaginative and are more odd than scary, completely failing to show the horror of the subject. Some badly sagging momentum too. The direction is pretty leaden, got the sense their heart was not in it, and the music doesn't really fit.

Concluding, very weak. 3/10 Bethany Cox

While looking for a terrible horror movie on Netflix, we landed on this gem. It exceeded all our terrible expectations, but it did get me thinking: how does a script for a movie like this get sold?

To be clear, the first 45 minutes are the incoherent ramblings of four teenagers who in NO WAY would actually hang out with each other in real life. The dialogue is crass, the personalities are so unclearly defined that each character is reduced to nothing but "hot guy", "hot girl", "less hot girl" and "eyeliner guy", and literally nothing happens. This rag tag group of discount JC Penney Catalogue models goes out to, for NO reason, check out satanic things before visiting Coachella. You know they're in LA, because the movie is cut with daytime arial footage of the modern city with whispers edited over it. Like I said: incomprehensible.

So, after 45 minutes and 700 plot contrivances that make you say "what is going ON?!", some girl slits her throat. Which the police are totally fine with, by the way, as they let the four witnesses go immediately. They then go to a house. Pro tip: pause the movie when you get to the swimming pool filled with dead crows. I GUARANTEE you that you haven't seen worse special effects in your life.

Anyway, nothing happens, nothing happens, everyone dies for some reason, and the Modern Family girl is then inexplicably stuck in a room with her mouth sewn shut and no arms. That's it.

Why? Who knows? There's a time loop in there which my girlfriend and I saw coming a mile away, just because we were thinking of how this movie could possibly be made even DUMBER. The time loop isn't explained and has no bearing on the plot, by the way.

Yeah.

Don't watch this.