If that doesn't make sense, you haven't seen this.

This is the kind of film David Lynch dreams that he could make. Alejandro Jodorowsky lives in abject terror of its unholy power. You should have to wear some kind of protective brain plate when you watch this.

What the heck was this mess and why was it turned into a movie!?! That is the question I am sure most sane people will have while watching this film; however, I am sure there is one mentally challenged little bundle of joy who watched this as a child and believes it is good. I only say that because I have watched and reviewed some of the biggest steaming piles of Christmas crap out there and there was always someone mad because I was not deranged enough to enjoy it. I am so sorry as we cannot share all the same brain issues, I'm just glad they took out the feature here at IMDB where moronic oafs would slobber on like idiots that my reviews sucked like I got paid to write this stuff and was not doing it merely for a hobby.

So, the story, hm, well there really is not much of one to mention. That's why I used my first paragraph to thank IMDB for doing something that they did years ago now. Still, what this film features is Santa on the beach, complaining about the sun and then summons children to help him out of his predicament. What is his predicament, apparently the inability to leave his sleigh to the point he has crap on the back of his pants. Okay, it probably wasn't meant to be crap, but there is a stain. Why, soon children bring this or that animal and tries to hook it up to his sleigh to pull it away. Sadly, the animals were not only unwilling to do this, I am quite surprised they did not injure the children who ended up in this crap fest of a film. I've used the word crap a lot, but trust me, the other version pops up quite often while watching this. The film is clearly not long enough so we get a Thumbelina story...well, either a Thumbelina story or a Jack in the Beanstalk. This story is apparently another movie and inserted into this one. I am guessing this somehow ties into being a promotion for Pirate's World which I'm willing to bet money on no longer exists. Oh, and something called the Ice Cream Bunny who does not have ice cream comes in at the tail end and why the heck did they just call him the Easter Bunny instead!?!

The film is madness and probably illustrates some sort of mental illness if we truly take the time to analyze it, but man, who thought this was a good idea? Santa looks worse than a Walmart Santa Claus and like I said, his pants are stained in the back! The ice cream bunny looks to truly have no soul and I hope to god they kept a good watch on those children during the shoot! For some reason Tom Sayer and Huck Fin are in this, but they add nothing and apparently were going to have an adventure, but the makers said, "Nah" so they just added the Thumbelina story and the others voted for Jack and the Beanstalk and so they did both...by the way, if you were making a Tom Sawyer film, Tom never had a river rafting adventure, that was Huck in his book!

This film reminds me of another film I watched called, "Fun in Balloonland" which was a bit less nightmare inducing than this as thankfully most of it was just watching a Thanksgiving Day parade with an inebriated hostess. There is just so much wrong with this one, the most normal part is the Thumbelina story and it is deranged in its own special way! About the only thing kind of cool about this film was seeing that ride in Pirate's World with the horse. It looked like you held on to the horse on that ride or you died! Just like real horseback riding! Seriously though, this film will induce mental disorders...

I just watched this movie online... Wow!! It's so hideously bad it makes some notoriously bad movies by Edward D. Wood look like Citizen Kane, the only motivation I could think that this abomination was produced in the first place was simply because some guys had a couple of tacky-looking fancy dress outfits laying around in the loft and decided to make a movie with them.

The plot (or lack of) consists of a particularly creepy Santa stranded on a beach in Florida because his sleigh is trapped beneath two grains of sand (we learn that his reindeer have already flown back to the North Pole courtesy of some grainy-looking stock footage). Santa sings a song and waves his hand around a lot and telepathically enlists the help of some neighbourhood kids to bring their household pets to help him out of this pickle. One girl turns up with a guy in a Gorilla suit, while others with a variety of farmyard animals. Even Huck Finn & Tom Sawyer join Santa's helpers, but this is all to no avail, so he decides to tell the story of Thumbelina to some REALLY bored looking children...

Now, the version I watched didn't have the story of Thumbelina at this point (like the original release) and it simply fades to black and then back to Santa being creepy.

For no reason whatsoever, some other guy in a white rabbit costume drives a Fire Truck with an awful lot of children passengers towards the beach only to detour through an amusement park and finally get to the beach while the children sing songs. Santa and the rabbit character mumble to each other and then they take off. The kids run back to Santa's sleigh and it mysteriously vanishes.

Then comes the Thumbelina adaptation, which, in a nutshell is a fairly pretty girl singing songs around the same amusement park Mr. Rabbit took an inane detour through. The narration of the story sounds like it's coming through a PA system and the sets look like something in the average 4th graders Christmas nativity. However, this is the best part of SC&TICB simply because the girl who plays Thumbelina can carry a tune when she sings.

I can only imagine that the intention of this movie was to advertise "Pirate World", the amusement park where most of it is based, quite the way Santa Claus (1985) advertised a certain fast food restaurant and soft drink brand.

As a movie, this is the poorest you could ever find. Everything about it is amateur, from the acting to the set design to the photography, editing and direction. Even the songs are akin to the type a 6-year-old could come up with. The kazoo-heavy score is also inferior. This could surpass for entertainment as a movie, and if it's intended to be a 90-minute advert, it fails at that too. Pirate World shut down around 1975. With this movie to advertise it... I'm expecting Santa's wake very soon...