Back in 1985, there was no internet. If you wanted something racy, you stayed up until 2:15 AM and turned on HBO or Cinemax, where chances were that that something racy was going to be Malibu Express. It's a cultural touchstone that still instantly bonds you with anyone who watched this way back in those analog days.

Cody Abilene - even the name makes me tear up a little - is a wealthy playboy/private-investigator. Think Thomas Magnum with worse aim, more money and the opportunity to actually get laid by a bevy of women, unlike that TV show. He's played by Darby Hinton, who started his career on the Disney Daniel Boone TV show before going to high school in Los Angeles and Switzerland then attending college on a cruise ship. Really, he did - it's called the World Campus Afloat Institute for Shipboard Education and it went around the world to study various cultures.

The plot concerns hacking computers for the Russians, a topic that was as hot in 1985 as it is in 2019, as well as sex and shenanigans amongst the very rich. Other than being a detective, Cody spends the majority of this film's running time following the three f's - fighting, fleeing and well, that third of the three f's - with a bevy of beauties including Playboy Playmates Kimberly McArthur (she's in Easy Money),Barbara Edwards, Lorraine Michaels, and Lynda Wiesmeier, who shows up in Joysticks and Cirio H. Santiago's Wheels of Fire.

Cody's main girl may be police officer Beverly Mcafee, but let's face facts. Sybil Danning's Contessa Luciana is the whole reason why I've seen this movie more times than I can count on my body parts. I'm not even going to try to apologize for thirteen-year-old me and my raging hormones. It's Sybil Danning, a reason to believe in the existence of a Higher Power.

This entire movie is basically a remake of Sidaris' first film, Stacey. It doesn't matter. There's less of a plot than gunplay, car chases, sex scenes and bikinis. Andy didn't make movies to make you question the human condition or ponder the infinite abyss. He made movies to entertain you at 2:45 AM.

While many think of this movie as the initial "L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies" or "Girls with Guns" film, no major characters or cast members appear in the other movies. That said, in Hard Ticket to Hawaii, Cody's brother Rowdy shows up.

You can watch this on Tubi or grab the amazing new blu ray from Mill Creek Entertainment. They previously put out an entire set of Andy Sidaris films, but this new release has a cleaned up presentation and extras. I love Mill Creek - not just because they sent me this for review - but because they get hard to find films and release them into places like Walmart!

My first exposure to an Andy Sidaris film and it's hardly one to set the box office on fire. Instead what plays out is a cheapjack thriller with some exceptionally wooden acting, listless plotting and cheesy action sequences. Sidaris shoehorns gratuitous nudity into the storyline at every opportunity, and the end result is a low budget mess, nothing more.

Cowboy private eye and studly ladies' man par excellence Cody Abilene (an affable performance by the hunky Darby Hinton) gets involved in a complex plot involving black and espionage while investigating the murder of a rich lady's husband. Writer/director Andy Sidaris relates the slight'n'silly story at a constant snappy pace and maintains a winningly breezy'n'easy tongue-in-cheek tone throughout. Moreover, Sidaris milks plenty of goofy laughs from a comic relief redneck family who always challenge Cody to an automobile race and Cody's hopeless ineptitude with handling firearms. Best of all, a bevy of beautiful babes happily bare their tasty wares with pleasing frequency: the always delectable Sybil Danning is in fine sultry form as the cunning and enticing Contessa Luciana, Lori Sutton burns up the screen as saucy cop Beverly, buxom blonde bombshell Lynda Wiesmeier has a field day as busty'n'lusty stock car race driver June Khnockers, and yummy Playboy Playmates Lorraine Michaels, Kimberly McArthur, and Barbara Edwards all dutifully doff their duds in the name of cheerfully leering exploitation. Veteran character actor Art Metrano has a cool supporting part as hot-tempered foul-mouthed goon Matthew while Brett Clark is suitably slimy as sleazy chauffeur Shane. The surprisingly convoluted narrative keeps the viewer guessing right until the very end. Howard Wexler's sunny cinematography gives the picture an attractive bright look. Henry Strzelecki's twangy countryish score hits the harmonic spot. Good blithely trashy fun.