The premise of this film is that Alex, the man who works wonders with dogs, is deeply in love with the appropriately named Katherine Stern, who is allergic to dogs. But the main problem is that there never appears to be any chemistry between the two characters. None. Zero. Zilch. Nada. The Empty Set.

Early in the film, Katherine presents to Alex a typewritten list of things that she wants him to change about himself, in order to further their relationship. A number of the points are extremely trivial, such as "drive a German car" or "get your teeth whitened." Alex first takes a stand and says that he will not comply with her requests. But he then changes his mind when he senses that another man is pursuing Katherine. Out of jealously, he decides to complete the various steps of the list.

The most interesting of Katherine's demands is that Alex convert to Judaism. There was some good advice given to Alex by the wise rabbi who becomes his mentor. The main concept was that of the soul mate, or "bashert." The rabbi also stresses that the list should only be a starting point in a relationship.

Alex goes through the conversion process, including mikveh (immersion) and circumcision. He also gets his teeth whitened, learns about sports, samples liqueurs, and examines a Porsche. But the most important words of the rabbi, "You must live an authentic life" seem to be lost on both Alex and Katherine.

This film was muddied in its goals and styles. On the surface, it appeared to be a comedy. But the preposterous idea of the list was taken so seriously by the characters that it turned into a drama. Throughout the film, the woman who appeared to be the true soul mate of Alex was Katherine's best friend Lily, the person who gave her the idea for "the list" in the first place!

Alex (Patrick Fugit) is an affable simple dog walker and dog whisperer. With no family to speak of, former girlfriend Lily (Karen Gillan) is his best friend although her husband Michael and others see him as childlike. His girlfriend Katherine Stern (Jennifer Morrison) loves him but is conflicted. She gives him a list of improvements for their future relationship. Dave (Eddie Kaye Thomas) is his immature friend. Despite everybody's suggestion, he still refuses to do the list until her disapproving father brings in hot optometrist Dr. Antonio Rosenblatt for her brother's Gary's upcoming wedding.

The list is aggressive but the reaction is psycho. She may be high maintenance but he's a serial killer. I love Fugit but he's best at the darker roles. I also love Morrison but she's high intensity. This movie is trying to be a screwball rom-com and mostly fails in spectacular fashion. There are three women in his life and Katherine is the least likeable. She has the worst chemistry with him. The two actors are not good comedic material. Gillan has the comedic chops but her romantic possibility is written off right from the start. The odd thing is that Alex and Katherine are not a completely bad couple at the beginning. It's a slow roll to get to that point. That build to hate her is a build to hating this movie. It's a frustrating grind to watch this romance. By the end of the relationship, I almost reveled in its audacity to make an anti-romance. Then it even screws that up by injecting another girl to force a romantic ending. The only comedic moment that sorta worked is the teeth whitening. That list of white colors is so stupid that I had to chuckle. In the broadest strokes, this is 500 Days. It's just done in the most infuriating way.

The draw for me, to this movie, was Karen Gillian and Jennifer Morrison and the promise of some light romance. Both actresses gave good performances (Jennifer Morrison is a great romantic foil and Karen Gillian was characteristically goofy). What let me down was the writing. The premise was simple, although its implications were entirely predictable, but the path to it was long and arduous. There needed to be more meat inbetween: more depth in the character arcs, more humour, more meaning in the journey. It ended up being boring and lacklustre. I give this film a 4 (poor) out of 10. {Romance}