Wow.. Yep wow. "White Fire" is one of those films you got to see to believe. That's action fans. Of schlock and exploitation. Well maybe if you got a thing for Robert Ginty… and throw in Fred "Hammer" Williamson. And some gnarly chainsaw carnage. Don't hesitate, check it out. The film is just so outrageous (although not rousing),but more so reckless and incomprehensible. Just figuring out what's going it just as bemusing as trying to understand the unusually repressed relationship between brother (Ginty) and sister (Belinda Mayne). It is strange. Like numerous touchy-feely encounters and awkward dialogues ("A pity you're my sister" while staring at her nude body and she doesn't seem to realise she's fully naked by only covering her breasts),which will have you returning back to scenes to make sure you heard it right. Nonetheless the entire script is clumsy. Acting is stiff (Mirella Banti gets top prize followed by Gordon Mitchell) and terrible dubbing also helps.

After a pointless beginning; I guess to show why this brother and sister were so close suddenly moves into present time 20 years later where siblings Beau Donnelly and Ingrid are adventurous diamond thieves. Ingrid is working in a desert diamond mind smuggling the goods with the help of her brother and the base's security commander. When they come across that of the white diamond they see it as their final heist to get out of the business. But it won't be that easy, as there are other people who are keen on getting their hands on the diamond.

I find Ginty rather agreeable in the lead role, where he has that expression you're never too sure what he is actually thinking. Great poker face. And he does hand out some beatings. While Mayne was somewhat wooden, you can see why she got the tick of approval. Then there's bad-ass Williamson, who really doesn't show up until an hour in with his pals (this gang really does like to show off their chest hair) and his energy really does get things moving. Like his first appearance ("I detest psychical violence"). Too bad about the cheery ending though, as I hoping to see Ginty and Williamson come to blows. It actually takes awhile before we come face-to-face with the legendary white fire diamond which burns whoever touches it. Williamson's smooth-talking trouble- shooter character has nothing to do with this side of the story, but more so with film's midway twist that only seems to make the brother- sister relationship even creepier. Watch how Ginty dramatically fights his desires for his sister (?). It cuts him deep.

There's a lot going on and characters coming and going. Not complex, but messy and patchwork that it's hard to make sense of it. But some might call that intrigue with soapy elements. But the siblings sure knew how to find trouble. I say it was simply written on the spot. It was just too random. Now the action was staged like if an opera singer was preparing for a big solo. Low-grade, but frenetic and plentiful with some touches of tacky gore with it cuing in marital arts sound effects and one very torturous encounter that will have men feeling squeamish. Plus it's probably got one of the slowest vehicle chases ever caught on tape. Flabby direction with some makeshift, mundane camera-work. It's cheap, inept and it shows. The tripped-out soundtrack is a real winner too. You get an amazing title song that finds it way on a loop.

Rough around the edges, but this feverish b-grade drive-in outing has no pretensions, so try keeping a straight face.

"Remember take good care of my sister".

Also known as Vivre Pour Survivre and Le Diamant, White Fire is a movie that is crazy from literally first few moments of the movie, where Bo and Inga (soon to be played by Robert Ginty from The Exterminator and Belinda Mayne from Alien 2: On Earth) watch as their father is burned up by a flamethrower and their mother shot in the back. Fast-forward a few decades and now they're jewel thieves who are after White Fire, a diamond so hot that it sets people on fire when they grasp it. Oh yeah - they have the hots for each other.

I can't even begin to explain the story of this movie, where Bo recreates his soon-to-be dead sister by having a prostitute get plastic surgery so that he can finally sleep with his sister, I mean, get revenge. The only trouble is that this new sister is wanted by Noah Barclay (Fred Willaimson!),who has to take her back for his boss.

This is the kind of movie that randomly throws a chainsaw fight in ten minutes in and you wonder, how can this top that? And it does. Again and again, it does, including diamond mine workers who have accessorized leather belts straight out of the disco era. Even better, Mirella Banti (Tenebre, D'Amato's Top Model 2) is a completely heartless villain.

Gordon Mitchell is here, which makes sense, seeing as how this film - like many of the Eurospy movies he was in - is a United Nations-like effort, uniting Turkey, Italy, France and America to make one of the oddest films that has graced by blu ray player in a while.

Director Jean-Marie Pallardy was a male model before becoming a director. I love how his credit is his signature, as if this was going to be something classy. Then I remembered that Harry Novak did the same exact thing. Most of Pallardy's work was in the soft core genre, but seriously, the dude is a maniac. This movie is fetishy as hell.

This gets my highest recommendation. Please watch this movie - where Turkish oil wrestling is background noise and not even a highlight - so we can discuss just how out of control it is.

Imagine a straightforward, linear film cut down into little pieces, jumbled together like a jigsaw and re-assembled randomly. The resulting movie would then be called WHITE FIRE, one of the daftest films I've watched in recent months. One thing to do when watching this film is to ignore the plot, which is just headache-inducing scenes of stupidity and randomness involving a shining white diamond in a mine. The only thing to do is sit back and enjoy the endless low-rent action scenes which fill the movie, the silly scripting, sometimes inaudible dialogue and poor acting from the majority of the cast. One thing that helps explain the lack of coherence is the multi-national aspect of the production; not only did French director Jean-Marie Pallardy drag some of his French cast and crew to Turkey to shoot this movie, but somehow the UK (!) and Italy were also involved in the financing. The result is an unsatisfying but mildly diverting action odyssey with lots of craziness to recommend it.

The action mainly consists of guys in silly suits with large guns running around a quarry and shooting each other, getting blown up occasionally. The finale of the film is a explosive expert's dream as hero Robert Ginty (complete with an unbecoming moustache) runs around lobbing sticks of dynamite at people. Watch in amazement as stuntman after stuntman is blown through the air by an exploding bomb - I guess health and safety measures are cheap in Turkey. Production-wise, the sound quality is poor and the camera-work static and uninteresting, and the poor editing rounds things out to a disappointing whole. The Istanbul scenery is picturesque in places but could have been utilised to a far greater effect.

WHITE FIRE seems to be on a crusade of containing as many different deaths as possible for the extras - no two are alike. Things begin with a guy being burnt alive with a flamethrower, then move on to a thief being electrocuted, a guy cut into pieces with a band saw, and a man's face being melted on a burning crystal (?). Women are shot in the head with blow darts and in the film's cheesy but grim highlight, Robert Ginty lets rip with a chainsaw on the docks and slices up a few of the enemy. Sadly, the UK pre-cert of this film which I watched cut out all of the gore effects in the film, which are by all accounts cheesy and unrealistic anyway. The film is instantly dated with an annoying pop song which plays throughout, detracting from the entertainment value further.

For such a bad film, it's surprising at how many familiar exploitation faces are present and correct. It seems everyone travelled out to Turkey in 1984 to appear in this film. First up is Robert Ginty, plodding woodenly through his part as the tired have-a-go-hero; I kind of wish his role wasn't so physical in this movie, because the punches he throws are really fake. The female lead is played by Belinda Mayne, who has a bizarre incestuous relationship with her brother Ginty, and who spends most of her scenes either walking around or showering in gratuitous nude scenes. Pallardy regular Jess Hahn pops up as an aged aide of Ginty's whilst US action star Fred Williamson has a very minor and unmemorable part as a bounty hunter. Finally we get Gordon Mitchell playing another nondescript bad guy in a large red suit who gets gunned down by our hero at the finale. Only sado-masochists may get a kick out of this absurd, largely incoherent, movie.