Frank O'Brien (Denis Leary) and Roz (Sandra Bullock) are a low class petty-thieving couple. They stole a $4 million Matisse on contract with his cousin Beano Callahan and are on the run from the cops. Only they don't know its true value and the plan is to sell it for $20k with $10k being their share. They are running to meet the buyer on an island in Rhode Island and being pursued by FBI Agent O'Malley (Yaphet Kotto).

The bickering couple has an underlying promise of fun. I don't know if they actually achieve fun. I can't tell if I actually like this couple or just the two actors playing the couple. The filmmaking is rather lackluster with badly staged physical comedy. It's not obviously bad but it's not doing anything right. I like the criminals' ineptness. I don't like the unfunny inept cops. I would get rid of the boy who causes more problems than solves them. I like some of this but not a lot. This works to some extent but it's an uneven ride.

Two if by Sea (1996): Dir: Bill Bennett / Cast: Denis Leary, Sandra Bullock, Stephen Dillane, Yaphet Kotto, Mike Starr: One of the lamest titles in recent memory as if the writer thought it poetic that Denis Leary and Sandra Bullock break up if they did not live by a frigging beach. They play thieves who are delivering a rare expensive painting to their boss. After losing police they shack up in a deserted house. Bullock begins to question her lifestyle and is charmed by another man. Leary does everything to prove his loyalty. Director Bill Bennett does a stylish job but the screenplay would make better toilet paper. Leary makes an attempt to learn other skills that don't involve cheating, stealing and robbing but he soon must stand up for his relationship. Bullock wants out of the unlawful lifestyle yet is easily charmed by deceptive males. We hardly care about this. The ending is hardly believable and makes one wonder what was learned. Supporting roles are lousy and include Stephane Dillane as the stranger trying to court Bullock while having other plans in mind. Unfortunately those plans didn't involve kidnapping her and escorting themselves to the set of a superior film. The role is standard and predictable, and Yaphet Kotto is wasted. It is yet another boring romantic comedy retread with no real purpose other than to reflect that Bullock has done better. It is pointless fluff that should be buried at sea. Score: 2 / 10

I couldn't stand but 30 minutes of this swill. Lame, utterly stupid jokes used in the most idiotic instances: third grade dialogue with a kindergarten story. Who wrote this crap? Even Sandra looked like hell, positively fat. Putrid!