Alright, this is one of those movies that you know is going to suck, just by looking at the cover or hearing the title of it. I mean, "Titanic II", for real? So what were people thinking here? We take the elements from the old "Titanic" movies and throw in a pinch of "Poseidon" just for good measure. The end result will be fabulous! People couldn't be further from the truth.

"Yeah, let's make a ship in the spirit of Titanic, call it, say I don't know... I got it, Titanic II. Yeah, that's it, let's do that!" ... I can just imagine people actually saying that.

There is not enough storyline in this movie to make a weak cup of broth. It is one of the more pathetic attempts at a disaster movie in a long, long time. Now, don't get me all wrong. I have deep respect for the events that transpired on April 14th, 1912, especially because I had relatives on the Titanic. So of course, I have a historical interest in the events and the boat, and as such have seen the previous Titanic movies. But this was just trying to cash in on the major blockbuster from 1997 with DiCaprio back in the day.

Throughout the movie there are lots of really bad continuity errors, and lots of things and events that just make you want to pull out your hair by the root. While I was watching this movie, my cat was resting on my lap, and at one point he got up and left the room. I swear it was in protest because of this movie.

One of the worst errors in the movie, was when they ran down towards the infirmary, and they were running inside a stairwell area of a building. What boat would have concrete walls? Come on... And when they did get to the infirmary, the best thing to patch up an injury was a credit card and 2 strips of tape? Seriously?

Now, what made this movie bearable to sit all the way through, for me at least, was the performance of Bruce Davison. He, and he alone, carried this movie. Now, I am not saying that the other actors and actresses performed badly, but they didn't even reach Davison to the knees.

Also, in favor of the movie, lots of the effects weren't all that shabby to look at. And I say "lots of the effects" not "all of the effects", because some were, well dubious.

And also, in the case of an event such as that, wouldn't you think more wheels would be set in motion? You sit with a very empty feel throughout this movie, like something major is missing. And something is indeed missing - a plausible story and people actually acting accordingly in a crisis situation like that one presented in the movie.

If you, like me, liked any or all of the 'older' Titanic movies, do not sit down with a serious mind to sit through this movie. It feels like a slap to the face with a wet glove. I suspect that the movie might be good if you are entirely unfamiliar with the tragedy of Titanic and the events of Poseidon, but for the rest of us enlightened people, this just doesn't have any meaning to it.

There are times in your life that you wish you could go back and do things differently. Trust me, after this movie, you wish you could do just that.

Titanic II starts exactly one hundred years after the launch & sinking of the original Titanic in 1912, in 2012 a new luxury cruise liner christened the Titanic II is about to set sail on her maiden voyage across the Atlantic. Meanwhile in Greenland a huge ice glazier has fallen apart & a huge tsunami caused by the huge iceberg crashing into the Ocean smashes straight into the Titanic II after it's engines blow. Rapidly sinking, badly damaged & with an even bigger tsunami on it's way the Titanic II & those aboard look doomed to suffer the same fate as the previous Titanic one hundred years before...

Written & directed by Shane Van Dyke who also stars in the thing this is yet another shameless rip-off from The Asylum who specialise in conning people into renting or buying their crappy films with copycat artwork, titles & plots. Here with Titanic II The Asylum are obviously leeching off the success of James Cameron's epic Titanic (1997) although this 'Mockbuster' & 'Disasterpiece' is more similar to something like Poseidon (2006) with the majority of the running time devoted to the sinking of the Titantic II, attempts to escape alive & various problems that go against the main character's. As one would expect from anything made by The Asylum Titanic II is total crap, an awful script that doesn't even get going until the fortieth minute (that's when the first tsunami hits) & a second half that has two people run through a few slightly wet corridors trying to look panicked. All the old disaster film clichés come out, at one point people even get stuck in an elevator & a door won't open because something is blocking it from the other side. Also, stop me if this sounds familiar, it seems big business has put profits first rather than human safety by cutting corners on the construction of the Titanic II. That's the best the script can do, that's as original as it gets & while the script obviously tries to mirror the events surrounding the sinking of the original Titanic it's slow going & it's impossible to care about anything. I suppose the script could have tried to say something about the dangers of global warning & the polar ice caps melting but it merely uses the iceberg thing to parallel the original sinking & the tsunami or it's after effects are never mentioned or seen again once it's hit the Titanic II.

As one would expect the CGI computer effects are awful, the CGI Titanic II looks terrible as does the iceberg & glazier breaking up. No-one really dies on screen, with a main cast of about three the expected fatalities don't really happen. I suspect the makers never left dry land, obviously shot on sets that just look like normal building they don't even shake or tilt as the Titanic II is supposedly sinking. The whole film looks as cheap & nasty as most productions from The Asylum, the second half of the film is also really dark & it's sometimes hard to make out what is going on.

Released straight to DVD in the states (although it had premiered on TV in at least Australia & Britain before that) on August 24th in an interview the producer said Titanic II only finished filming on May 7th which gives you some indication just how quickly The Asylum get these things out & that rushed post production surely contributes to the awful CGI, bad pacing & general lousiness. The acting sucks, plain & simple & the so called emotional bit at the end is embarrassingly bad.

Titanic II is awful, then again coming from The Asylum did you expect anything else? Bad CGI, bad sets, bad acting, bad script & a lot of unhappy Titanic fans who may be suckered into giving this crap a go means The Asylum's output just isn't getting any better.

I somehow caught this trash on cable over the weekend. I have no idea why it aired on TV in Australia before it even got a US release, but at least I didn't have to go out and rent it.

The movie opens with some guy surfing off what appears to be a Canadian ice shelf; when a large chunk of ice falls he rides the wave. Unfortunately for him, a piece of ice the size of Manhattan breaks off and that's the end of his story.

An old coast guard captain gets a call from NOAA and he flies out to the ice shelf. Lot's of mumbling about the evils of global warming and how they need to warn the planet that an epic tsunami is going to destroy the world... but most importantly it will destroy the Titanic II. It turns out the captain's daughter works as a nurse on the ship which has just set off on it's maiden voyage. The captain gets in his super-chopper and decides to fly all the way to the titanic to save his daughter.

His daughter used to date the guy that owns the shipping line and the Titanic II, he of course is on the ship. He has three girlfriends now but begins to regain his old affections for the nurse for some reason. The tsunami hits the ship conveniently wiping out half of the life rafts. I don't think the director was trying to be funny here, but all of the people bouncing back and forth pretending that the ship was falling over made me smile.

The boat continues to sink and the guy and girl run around trying to get out but don't. Fortunately they come across some scuba gear, unfortunately there's only one mouth piece. Rather than try sharing it, the guy just dies and that's pretty much the story.

Terrible acting, crappy CGI, hilarious dialogue The interiors of the Titanic II look like they were filmed in a rundown motel 6. They have a shot of the engine room and it looks like a dump truck backed into a loading bay.

How did this happen??