Years ago, I saw an episode of SEINFELD in which Elaine described this movie as a colossal bore that seemed to go on forever (though less than 3 hours long, it did seem to go on for an eternity). I should have taken her advice and avoided this movie like the plague. The first tip-off that it would be a bore-fest was that it had won so many academy awards. In recent years, several amazingly dull films have been the recipient of arm loads of awards but were box office poison because the public couldn't stand them (another example of this would the the sterile LAST EMPEROR).

My wife and I were amazed at how much we disliked the film. The "love" affair between the leads was completely unbelievable and stupid. One minute, they hate each other and the next they are copulating like crazed weasels! And, to top this off, these were perhaps the ugliest stars ever seen naked on the screen. I kept wanting to shout "put it BACK on--PLEASE". In fact, they were such an unappealing couple that I strongly recommend parents send their teenagers to watch this film. The sight of their naked bodies is perhaps the strongest enticement towards abstinence known to mankind!

However, the ugliness of the film doesn't end there. Towards the end, in order to try to save his lover's life, the male lead makes a deal to help the Nazis....yes, Nazis!!! Who cares that they were trying to take over the world and liquidate a few million?! All his character cared about was his sweetie. Oh, and did I mention that along the way they ended up killing her husband? Nothing says romance like this film!!

I personally have never understood the backlash The English Patient gets. I can understand why it might try someone's patience, as the pace is very slow and perhaps purposefully so and the film is very long at over two-and-a-half hours, but I do think it is unfair that there are those who consider one of the worst Best Picture winners(I personally think Crash, Cimarron, Braveheart and The Hurt Locker are worse, I have never understood the hate for Shakespeare in Love either as in my opinion that's better than the movie-Saving Private Ryan- that almost everyone says should have beat it). Fargo is a great film as well, whichever film won made no difference to me, as long as they are great movies which they are.

The English Patient may be a slow movie, with all the dates, character relationships and events unfolding at a purposefully leisurely pace, but it is also intensely moving, beautifully shot and compelling. The film looks stunning, the dessert scenes especially are reminiscent of the epic sweeping feel that Lawrence of Arabia had. The cinematography is incredibly beautiful, and the costumes and scenery are wonderfully lavish and evoke the period seamlessly. The English Patient has a truly haunting and heart-wrenching score, particularly in the end credits, complete with some fitting music choices. The film also has a poetic and thought-provoking script, a compelling story that conveys the characters' predicaments wonderfully complete with flashbacks that enhance rather than jar and superb direction by the late and very talented Anthony Minghella.

The English Patient has a strong emotional impact as well, the climatic sequence in particular moved me to tears that stayed long after the movie was over. The characters are richer and more complex than one might think, Almasy especially is very haunted and pained, and dealt with in an incredibly subtle way. The acting does perfect justice to these characters, Ralph Fiennes is absolutely brilliant in one of his best and more complex performances(I'd say only Schindler's List is better),and Kristen Scott Thomas shows a great chemistry with him, the scene where she is carried out of the cave by him is one of extreme pathos. Juliette Binoche is equally affecting, and Willem Dafoe and Kevin Whately are as strong as ever.

All in all, a moving and beautiful film, cinematically and emotionally. 9/10 Bethany Cox

I saw this at the cinema. It seemed to go on and on and I'm sure I got pressure sores as a result. It soured me on Fiennes and Scott Thomas for life, so earnest are they, so unrecognisable to ordinary people. The historical trappings and backdrop is fine but the highbrow nature of the production feels false and artificial to me.