Brawny twin brothers Kutchek and Gore join forces to rescue their kidnapped queen Canary (a bewitching turn by the strikingly lovely and radiant Virginia Bryant) from the vile clutches of evil tyrant Kadar (veteran bad guy thesp Richard Lynch in fine wicked form) so they can restore the itinerant gypsy tribe they were adopted from to its former glory. Feisty outlaw gal Kara (a winningly spunky portrayal by the incredibly comely Eva LaRue) helps our endearingly thick-skulled musclehead heroes out.

Director Ruggero Deodato, working from a blithely inane script by James R. Silke, wisely doesn't take the silly story seriously, maintains an engaging tongue-in-cheek tone throughout, keeps the enjoyably asinine plot moving along at a brisk pace, stages the sword fights with gusto, and even tosses in a few decent bits of splatter. The cast have a grand time with the campy material: Peter and David Paul make for amiable leads, Sheeba Alahani really sinks her teeth into the juicy role of formidable and treacherous sorceress China, Michael Berryman likewise has a ball as vicious lackey the Dirtmaster, and George Eastman pops up in a nifty bit as slimy arms dealer Jacko. Pino Donaggio's robust score hits the rousing spot. Gianlorenzo Battaglia's glossy cinematography and the pretty lavish production values provide an impressively polished look (the giant animatronic dragon in particular is quite gnarly). The bevy of luscious scantly clad harem girls supplies plenty of delectable eye candy. Good dumb fun.

As shallow as it may sound, I actually delayed my viewing of "The Barbarians" several times just because the VHS cover (as well as the picture image displayed here on the website) looks so incredibly gay! By now I wish I had watched it earlier because the movie isn't so much gay…. just trashy, cheesy, campy and enormously fun! It's almost unbelievable that Ruggero Deodato, director of "Cannibal Holocaust" of all people, was the man responsible for this comical cash-in on the contemporary popular Sword & Sandal fantasy flicks, particularly Schwarzenegger's Conan movies. The film opens with a terrific 'once-upon-a-time' type of off-screen narrator, introducing us to the Ragneks. Their founder once traded an entire mountain of pure gold for just one magically powerful ruby that would allow them to travel in freedom and access every country as entertainers. In other words, the Ragneks are a bunch of traveling circus freaks! Their happiness abruptly comes to end when the greedy Kadar kidnaps the Ragneks' beautiful queen Canary and continuously attempts to discover the whereabouts of the ruby. Meanwhile, and as some sort of amusing waste of time, the two orphan twin-brothers Gore and Kutchek are trained to become muscled warriors and they're unwarily prepared to fight each other to the death. Instead of that, however, they escape and develop a plan to free their queen. Actually, the plot isn't half as bad as I initially feared, but still the most fun is provided by the beefcake brothers' on screen chemistry, the crazily inept dialogs and of course the utterly cheesy fantasy-monsters, like a dragon with adorably cute eyes, some kind of werewolf creature and zombies that randomly appear to pop out of the swamp. The soundtrack and make-up effects are great and our almighty director Deodato maintains a terrifically fast pace. The Barbarian Brother's acting capacities are much better than I anticipated, apart from the fact that one of them constantly produces gross belching sounds. The supportive cast is splendid as well. Eva La Rue never looked more beautiful as the witty savage girl Cara, Virginia Bryant is indeed bewitching like Richard Lynch states on several occasions and the lovely Sheeba Alahani makes her first and only appearance on film as a vicious sorceress with a donut-shaped hair style (I kid you not!). Last but not least, "The Barbarians" stars everybody's favorite Eyes in the Hills creep Michael Berryman as the appropriately named Dirtmaster. I know the displayed picture looks gayer than a promotional campaign for the musical version about the rise and fall of the Village People, but "The Barbarians" really is a must-see Italian exploitation highlight.

Ruggero Deodato brings together Richard Lynch, twin muscleheads called the Barbarian Brothers, George Eastman and Michael Berryman and the results are everything you dreamed that they would be. Within the first ten minutes of this film, I had already screamed from my couch in pure glee, so happy to be alive and watching an Italian barbarian movie - times two! - that was unashamed to be this stupid.

The Ragnicks are a tribe of peaceful traveling entertainers. Think sideshow - as they journey on horseback, one of them is even throwing knives to practice. They've recently adopted twins - Kutchek and Gore - and are protecting the magic ruby of their tribe. But soon, Kadar (Lynch) takes Queen Canary hostage. The young twins attack, biting off his fingers. However, he promises that if he takes Canary as one of his concubines, that he and his men will never kill the twins.

Kadar is a dude with a plan. A fifteen-year plan, really. He raises each of them separately, telling them their brother is dead, and has them routinely beaten by a masked man - either silver or gold depending on the brother. Then, when they have gone through all the whippings and strength trials ala Conan, they will fight and kill one another. That way, he can keep his promise and keep getting some of that sweet freakshow loving from the queen of the sideshow.

The brothers knock off their helmets - forgot that part of the plan - and escape into the woods where they find their old people who now live in misery. They also find Ismena, a thief who is imprisoned by their old tribe. The Ragnicks believe that this is magic and try to hang the twins, but their necks are just too big to lynch and they win over their old friends.

Hijinks ensue - like arm wrestling George Eastman and battling a dragon in the Forbidden Land. It gets a little long at the end, but the ride there is pretty decent, with the Forbidden Land itself looking like where most of the budget went.

If you're a fan of the Barbarian Brothers - David and Peter Paul - they also show up in D.C. Cab. It's kind of amazing to me that they were born in Harford, Connecticut and never ended up in the WWE.