Before I get to my review, I want to point out that every single Hate-It "review" on this page was posted by a 1-movie reviewer. There are currently 12. When I realized this, I immediately had to watch the movie because any movie that caused someone to create 12 bogus IMDb accounts to slam it deserves to be watched, especially when this sad person is using all his sock puppet accounts to thumbs-down all other reviews.

"Tell" is a bizarre experience that will probably confuse, if not irritate, anyone who's expecting a typical crime thriller. This is because it incorporates both gritty drama & outlandish deadpan humor in equal quantities, and that may throw you off, but ultimately if you just go along for the ride and expect anything, then you might really enjoy this flick.

If you've seen the 1997 flick "Suicide Kings" with Christopher Walken, then you know what I'm talking about. "Suicide Kings" (itself received somewhat poorly by critics) is a masterpiece of tense, gritty drama and awesome deadpan humor in equal portions. This strategy is a gamble because most audiences are expecting either drama or comedy, but nothing straight up the middle.

"Tell" begins with an opening scene that is instantly, awkwardly funny as we see two bizarrely dressed clowns (one of them unapologetically sporting a bad 80s Don Johnson look) standing in the middle of a grocery aisle, tensely awaiting some sort of illegal transaction. But the scene abrubtly shifts to serious when blood starts flying.

The entire film is like that: it flirts with comedy--not outright punchline gags but a really funny sort of satirical dark humor--but then it turns you around and dunks you in a tense, violent, disturbing story of crime and betrayal. In that regard you could say "Tell" is a grandchild of the Tarantino "Pulp Fiction" genre, except that Tarantino is more solidly rooted on the drama/violence side, whereas "Tell" (like "Suicide Kings") is slightly closer to comedy.

I purposely waited to tell you about the plot because the plot isn't as important as the delivery. Tell (Milo Ventimiglia) is a small time criminal who somehow manages to grab the haul of a big time bank heist. Supposedly he stashes it somewhere (although we can't be sure),and years later everyone is after Tell to get the loot. When I say "everyone" I'm referring to 2 psycho cops, 1 psycho brother-in-law, and 1 psycho wife.

The psycho brother-in-law and psycho wife are brilliantly played by Jason Lee (Dave in "Alvin and the Chipmunks" if you can believe it) and Katee Sackhoff (Starbuck in "Battlestar Galactica"). These 2 roles are critical because they provide the great deadpan humor in this story. They are not likeable characters at all; we see that they are self-serving, loathsome back stabbers who are just after the money. But even so, ya gotta love 'em because they are sooo batsnot cray cray. They will stop at nothing to coerce, intimidate, manipulate, or outright torture Tell into divulging the secret, but at the same time they are the only friends he's got. If you can grasp this bizarre relationship, I guarantee you'll love the flick. A note for fans of Katee Sackhoff from Battlestar Galactica: no, her role is *nothing* like Starbuck, but that's all the more reason for you to check out this movie to see how versatile she is, playing a despicable gold-digger whom you love to hate.

"Tell" is a surreal & genre defining experience that shouldn't be missed if you enjoy watching atypical crime dramas. As I mentioned, check out "Suicide Kings" if you enjoy this kind of dark humor. Another one in this style is "Poker Night" with Ron Perlman. There aren't many films like this, so enjoy em when you can find em.

TELL is another low rent crime drama about a guy caught up in circumstances beyond his control when he steals a million dollars and finds out that everybody in his life wants to get their hands on it. Afterwards he finds himself pursued by corrupt cops alongside his own wife, friends, and even his parole officer. This film goes for a sub Tarantino vibe with a lot of quirky humour and bizarre characterisations, but it's only partially successful. The protagonist, as played by Milo Ventimiglia, is slimy rather than endearing, although there are some nice supporting turns from Robert Patrick and Jason Lee. The film offers a few good twists and funny moments but is generally a forgettable and inferior kind of production of the type we've seen all too often.

Cliché after cliché. Bad cops, questionable parole officer, gold digger, dumb brother-in-law - all the usual suspects. I made it through to the end - just barely. There were a few plot twists, but not enough to make it that interesting. Simply too predictable. OK if absolutely nothing else is on - but just OK. Nothing compelling here - move along.