Troma movies are supposed to be bad. Well, I mean, they're supposed to be cheap and kind of stupid, but there always seems to be some element of fun in there...somewhere.

But Surf Nazi's Must Die was just plain awful, even for Troma. The movie plot is simple--a gang of homicidal surf nazi's run the beach. They meet their doom when they kill a young black man. His mama, Eleanor Washington, not a feeble woman at all despite their treatment of her in the nursing home, is going to take revenge on the gang who took her boy from her. And man, is she one awesome hero out to put an end to those dreadful fashion victims, the surf nazi's.

The whole movie is stupid, but the end is the real cheeser with surf nazi's battling Mama Washington in actions scene on the water on a half chopped motor boat. I think I partly cheered on Mama Washington because she was the only one to serve up a slice of revenge on some of the most annoying characters ever to be burned into film. If it weren't for her, this movie would just be pure pain on the eyes.

This was surely one of the strangest good-bad movies ever. It has lots of surfing, a little Kung Fu fighting, a ridiculous villain, and one kick ass lady! It isn't complex and doesn't have a story arc or anything and it may be too simplistic for some, but I found it rather incredibly hard to follow thanks to the bizarre editing as well as every single one of the snooze-inducing scenes with the Surf Nazis which were nigh-on incomprehensible. They were so loud and annoying, it was like they were a bunch of random people doing extremely amateur community theatre on the beach rather than coming off as actual actors! They didn't have a speck of personality between them and even though they were meant to be this big tough ruthless gang who didn't have any problems handling other surfer gangs, they were easily overpowered by one vigilante oldster? Whatever! "The beaches have become battlefields, the waves a war-zone..." the opening text scrawl so boldly declares.. Mm, well nope, I'm afraid it's nothing so epic! So near as I could tell the vague and slow as hell plot is that this one aggressive surfer gang who want to control the entire beach of California and all the other gangs because a humongous earthquake has wrecked the city.. That's so lame, a beach is a terrible location for a post-apocalyptic war-zone, it just doesn't have the same kind of visual and thematic punch as an inner city ruined ghetto, the image of that on a beach just doesn't sit right and makes it hard to suspend your disbelief, it feels like it couldn't happen! The setting looks so pretty it makes you wonder why everyone's even fighting at all when there's such a beautiful ocean right there that they could all chill out and have fun in! This oddball excuse for a movie didn't have the budget or panache to pull off such a concept, everything looks too dull and cheap. It's an ambitious little flick though, gotta give it that.. It's too bad that it's also one that never seems to grasp just how dumb it is, if it had opted for a more tongue-in-cheek approach it might have been slightly more well-received and have more of a fan base today. As it is I can agree that it's a terrible movie but to me it still wasn't all that bad, there were some things that I liked about it a lot. For one thing I loved the beach and all the slow motion footage shots that appear randomly throughout the whole movie, the effect to me was very visually positive and strangely uplifting, and that's what I took from it. I enjoy the offbeat silly fun vibe more than the actual story, to say it has Nazis in the title it's a very light and totally harmless movie, it had a certain cute goofy and youthful earnestness about itself. Had I tried to enjoy it purely from a plot standpoint I'd have hated it as much as everyone else seems to. The scene between the Surf Nazi known as "Smeg" and his mother in the kitchen is very telling I reckon. If it's meant to be a distopian city they're living in, then how come Smeg has a nice normal home that he can go to and a tough cookie mother who forces him to stay in his room when he's trying to sneak out? Are the Surf Nazis all just rowdy teens, playing nasty crazy games at being Nazis on the beach because there's nothing else to do and there's no law to stop them? I really liked the character of Smeg's mother, the actress really did her own thing with her bit part and was a lot of fun in her few scenes. Some of this movie is intriguing but it goes nowhere at all until the coolest mama of all time decides it's time to make a stand! The movie perks up and has a much better final act when she steps up and it stops being just Surf Nazis and finally turns into Surf Nazis Must Die! The character of Mama Washington was the one thing that really made this picture worthwhile for me and was definitely the most memorable thing about it. It was so different and cool to me seeing an old sassy black lady doing action hero stuff, not to say they can't or anything, but it was sure as hell the first time I'd ever seen that before! She was so funny and entertaining, as soon as it showed her and it was at the scene where she's smoking a cigar and playing cards with the other old ladies at the nursing home she was forced to live in and she says "I've gotta liven up you bitches!", I thought that gal's gonna do something big at some point! The transitional scene is so surreal where she leaps out of nowhere and strong-arms one of Nazis, you know which one I'm talking about.. So I'm pretty sure that at least some of it was made bad on purpose and it was clearly never made with the intention if being 'great cinema', but overall I found it a fun stupid movie to watch, and I think that may have been the whole point, and I for one could dig it. Peace out, Hang ten! x

I may have gone on record numerous times of my intense displeasure with most Troma productions, but this was actually produced by The institute, a production company formed by George, Craig A. Colton and Robert Tinnell, and distributed by Troma.

After the earthquake that's always been prophecized that will destroy the coastline of California finally arrives, Adolf (Barry Brenner) declares himself the Führer of the new beach and has his Surf Nazis attack all of the other rival surf gangs*. But when he murders Mama Washingon's (Gail Neely) son, he's finally made the mistake that will undo his foamy Fourth Reich.

The original box of Surf Nazis Must Die used to practically shouts "Rent me!" from the shelves of every video store I ever went to, yet somehow I've never seen it until now. Probably the biggest selling point to me was the appearance of Bobbie Bresee, who won my heart in Mausoleum, showing up as Smeg's mom, who is very concerned about the path her son is going down.

Somewhere in here is an idea for a really fun movie, more of The Warriors on a post-apocalyptic beach, and I love that. But it doesn't really have a focus, but then again, Mama Washington is such a great character and I love every moment that she's on screen. So...secret success?

*The Samurais, The Pipeliners, the Skate Rats, Biker Bar and Designer Waves, made up of Curl Blow and Dry. Thanks Edith on Letterboxd!