I watched 'Stitches' mainly because, as well as loving horror, I'm also a big Ross Noble fan and was interested to see how his stand-up would transfer to acting. To be fair, he doesn't have much to do in the way of acting.

His 'unconventional' (sorry, Ross) looks make it easy for the make-up department to transform him into an evil, undead clown, hell-bent on seeking bloodthirsty revenge on the party of children who caused his death in the first place.

In short, Ross Noble steals every scene he's in. Sadly, he's not in it enough. He doesn't really come into it (proper) until midway through and, by then, you've been forced to watch your usual 'teen drama.' As this is a British film, I was hoping for something a little more original than 'uber-geek falls in love with beautiful girl who just so happens to be going out with an arrogant jock.' Sadly, that's all we get. All the (non undead clown) characters are total stereotypes. You'll know exactly who'll die the moment you see them.

And die they do. That's where the film excels. I'm guessing it had quite a small budget, but it really makes the most of the gore. Some of the death scenes are truly disgusting (and hilarious in their over-the-topness).

Stitches is worth watching if you like horror and Ross Noble. He provides all the comedy and gore which will satisfy you. However, sadly the film can never truly be a classic, as the first half is pretty bland and the second half is only ever really alive when the (dead) Ross Nobel is on-screen.

It's a good film that's (sadly) wrapped up in the oldest movie cliché going.

Other users on this site seemed to enjoy STITCHES, an Irish comedy horror about a clown who comes back from the dead to seek revenge on those who had him killed, but I thought it made for a pitiful viewing experience. As a comedy horror it's a dreadfully unfunny film, one of those low budget productions with a script that confuses crudity for wit and remains continually unfunny as a result.

Even worse, STITCHES is saddled with a grating lead performance from non-actor Ross Noble, who seems to regard himself as some kind of comedian; well, not on the strength of this amateurish production. Still, even Noble seems like a professional compared to the younger cast members, who mumble away in heavily accented English and remain incomprehensible for the most part.

As the story goes on, it becomes apparent that the sole aim of STITCHES is to deliver one outrageous gore scene after another. There are body parts aplenty in this film with sick stunts involving brains, eyeballs, severed limbs and the like. The quality of the special effects isn't too poor for the budget, but aside from the basic gross-out, these gore sequences achieve nothing. They're not funny, disturbing, or horrific, just silly. As is the film itself.

The clumsy and unfunny clown Richard "Stitches" Grindle (Ross Noble) goes to the birthday party of little Tom (Tommy Knight) and the boy and his friends play a prank with Stitches, tying his shoelaces. Stitches slips, falls and dies. Six years later, Tom gives a birthday party for his friends at home and the clown revives to haunt the teenagers and revenge his death.

"Stitches" is an unfunny and gore movie with a terrible storyline. I was curious to see an Irish horror movie for the first time, but the result is disappointing, despite the good special effects. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "O Retorno do Palhaço Assassino" ("The Return of the Killer Clown")