When you can literally tell the swords have rounded ends, you know it's gonna be bad. The action choreography is non existent, one or two swings from each person and it's over. It's like watching the movie in slow mo. The plot is weak at best, get the girl - kill everyone else. They invading a fortress that is so weakly guarded they're just basically roaming around most of the time. Makes no sense.

Another cheapie indie cash-in of a Hollywood blockbuster, this time around the Guy Ritchie film (which was inself pretty diabolical, it has to be said). This time around the actor who plays Robin brings no charisma to the role at all, while most of the screen time is given over to the gurning bad guys, including a Sheriff of Nottingham who wanders around naked (unfortunately for the viewer) for long scretches. The fight scenes are among the worst I've seen recently - so slow and stilted - while the anachronisms keep on coming (including Marian wearing a corset beneath her clothes). Amid the amateur cast members, poor old Brian Blessed has a cameo and Martyn Ford doesn't cover up his tattoos, even though they're certainly not of the period.

The film opens by giving you the "historical" background. Robin and Marion are already living in the forest. When Marion is kidnapped, Robin forms a rescue party of 3 bad actors and a blind Vultan. The dialogue and fighting choreography approached comical. Not the worst Robin Hood film out there (no zombies) but it tries to be.

Guide: No swearing. Male nudity.