AMBULANCE 37 is another lacklustre indie horror flick, this time geared firmly in the 'torture porn' genre. The story follows a couple of psycho brothers - played by cult favourites Kane Hodder and Bill Moseley - as they travel around in an old ambulance, answering emergency calls and murdering any victims they find. There's endless, bad padding between the horror scenes, which rely on ridiculous CGI gore for effect. Hodder's stock psycho is fun, but the rest is a mess.
Plot summary
Disguised as paramedics, two psychopaths intercept 911 calls in an ambulance known as Old 37 and prey on unsuspecting teenage victims. But when a shy girl-next-door becomes their latest target, she turns the tables on her captors to fight for her survival. Hailed as "a blood-soaked, slasher fan's wet dream" by Dread Central, and "Jaws on the interstate" by iHorror. Starring Kane Hodder (Hatchet, Seven),Bill Moseley (Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2),and Brandi Cyrus (Zoey 101, Hannah Montana).
Uploaded by: FREEMAN
Director
Tech specs
720p.WEB 1080p.WEBMovie Reviews
A mess
AM I HOTTER THAN BROOKE?
This is another junkyard slasher film with a slight paramedic twist. Amy (Caitlin Harris) is the only decent person in her circle of friends, so we don't expect anyone other than her to survive. Amy is insecure and wants a boob job as all her friends are hotter, especially Brooke (Olivia Alexander). In addition to showing us her life, the film flashes back to the lives of the slasher brothers who lacked slasher charisma.
The film adds nothing new to the genre.
Guide: F-bomb, sex, sexy butt nudity (Olivia Alexander)
I'm gonna turn you inside out...
For some reason then "Old 37" had managed to elude me until 2017, which is a bit odd as it has both Kane Hodder and Bill Mosely on the cast list, two huge iconic horror names, and two actors that I do like in movies.
So when I got the chance to sit down and watch "Old 37", I needed no convincing and I didn't even have to read the synopsis for the movie. All that was needed was the horror label and the fact that both Hodder and Mosely were starring in this movie.
The pacing of the movie was somewhat of a mixed result. I especially liked how the movie did lay the groundwork for the setting from the very beginning. But the movie did follow the generic formula of how to make a horror movie, which was so clearly apparent, for better or worse. And it does slow down quite a lot during the first half of the movie in order to establish characters and background. That made it somewhat tedious, but then it gradually started to pick up pace again as Jon Roy (played by Kane Hodder) and Darryl (played by Bill Mosely) made a return to perform their ghastly endeavor.
The cast in "Old 37" was good, especially because most of the faces appearing on the screen were new to me. And personally I do enjoy watching new performers on the screen, as they are not already associated with other roles in other movies. And having two horror icons in one movie needs no explanation.
As for the characters in the movie, well I will say that the character gallery was quite diverse. Some characters more likable than others, naturally. However, the overall impression is that the characters could just as easily had been in any other horror movie, so there was a feeling of generic character build to some of them.
There wasn't an abundance of special effects, much less CGI effects. But I will say that the practical effects that were in the movie were quite nice, especially the special effects make-up on Brooke, when she was found, that looked quite good. It was interesting to have Jon Roy cover his lower part of the face with a mask throughout the movie, but when his face was revealed it was somewhat of an anti-climatic reveal, because his face wasn't that scary or deformed.
"Old 37" was actually quite nicely filmed and edited, which made for a very enjoyable viewing pleasure. And that also made for a very good flow to the movie.
The music score for the movie was actually quite good, and the music was quite fitting for the particular atmosphere that permeated the movie.
I must admit that I had expected more mayhem and mutilation that what director Alan Smithee managed to deliver here with the help of writers Joe Landes and Paul Travers. And the ups and downs in the pacing of the movie was also somewhat of a setback for the overall enjoyment of the movie. "Old 37" wasn't an impressive or outstanding horror movie in any way, and not even the two iconic horror figures Hodder and Mosely could salvage this one.