I must have seen the VHS box for this a million times in a million different video stores and always passed it up. It wasn't until this last week when I got an email from a friend describing this as an absolutely mind blowing WTF-fest that I finally decided to check this out. And how glad I am - this is the dopey kind of misguided flick that I live for.

Let's see if I can make this plot make sense - scientist Edward Brake (Wellington Meffert) has developed a behavior modification computer system called APACHE which takes a personal item of the subject, turns it into a silver ball and then shoots that ball into their mouth. Somehow that makes people change and is a scientific breakthrough. What Brake doesn't count on is his assistant Julie (Debbie Laster) conducting experiments on three college girls for a mysterious backer. And what Julie does count on is Brake's daughter Jessica (Debra Hunter) falling in love with Julie's assistant Ken (Dale Midkiff). Or Jessica having a super high-tech computer named "George" (which has an accessory of a talking puppet!?!) that can prevent Jessica from being harmed.

From beginning to end, this is one oddball flick. It has everything 80s (aerobics, walkmen, roller skates, leg warmers, Coke, pinball) and more. Feast your eyes up the scene where a biker makes out with his chick in front of a bar while playing pinball. Or the couple who make out in the back of a limo as the driver changes the tire and some random dude in the woods bops to music on his walkman. Or the chauffeur who disguises his drinking by placing his mini-bottles between two slices of bread. Or a guy being attacked by some silk panties! And that mystery man shown through out the flick? We never find out who he is!

If I didn't know any better, I'd swear this was an 80s Italian flick shot in Florida - weird dubbing, odd delivery, everything so slightly off balance and with hint of not knowing how Americans really act. But the credits betray me and it looks like real Americans made it. The end credits list it as a co-production between England, France and the US. The director is credited on screen as H. Sala and the IMDb says he is one Henry Sala. Either that is a pseudonym or he bowed out after his masterpiece. The producer is listed as one Bachoo Sen (gesundheit!). I have to know more about who made this.

Another amazing aspect of this movie is the cast. Low budget flicks often feature a future star here and there, but this one features three future mainstream stars - Dale Midkiff, Andrea Thompson (NYPD BLUE) and Robert John Burke. WHAT!?! Was this flick some kind of Faustian porthole? Everyone else in the cast and crew were one and done.

WTF?!?! I mean, seriously, what the fµ@k?! Who on earth concocted this script and went out and made this film? They must have had more than a couple of screws loose. So, we have a mansion in which a professor is working on some magical super-computer that can produce evil silver pinballs which can cause behavioral modifications on test subjects - a rottweiler in this case - but when amped up to a level of I-don't-know-what they can turn humans into demented & deformed, possessed beings as well as just plain kill them (like have them explode, for instance). That's about the best I can do in an attempt to describe the premise of this wretched film. So, the professor's evil mistress comes up with a plan to do some more testing - naturally, on humans this time - and invites three good-looking bimbos to the mansion. Some horny dudes are along for the ride as well, eventually. So, evil mistress goes nuts with the machine, producing one magical pinball after another to possess the bimbos & dudes. There's tons of nudity & sex and some gore thrown in for good measurement. There's an inexplicable sequence - many, in fact - where the daughter of the professor is playing a racing game on her computer that magically possesses a real car in the real world. There's even a possessed tooth brush. And this thing stars Dale Midkiff in an early role. And with all this, you haven't seen the half of it yet. Inept & illogical on all levels, I tell you. Everyone involved with this production must have thought the same thing, like pretty much "What the hell, let's just make this insane rubbish as we go along". Pinballs, man, possessed pinballs! Just when you thought you've seen it all...

That's a snippet of choice dialogue delivered by the evil, ballbusting lady assistant of a famous scientist to her prim maid just before she lures three incredibly dumb college girls to a mansion for behavior modification experiments. Meanwhile, at the local bar, people drink and dance to lame 80s rock songs. A biker punk has sex with a cycle slut on a pinball table in front of a crowd of people, then tries to rape the scientist's virginal daughter Jessica (Debra Hunter),who is in love with another biker (Dale Midkiff, from PET SEMATARY),who, in turn, is in cohorts with the assistant! Back at the house, the sorority bimbos swim, shower, change clothes and have sex with men from the bar. A small silver ball (part of the experiment) flies into victims mouths and turns them into drooling, killer zombies!

If that isn't enough to entertain you, there's a hilarious theme song ("Nightmare Fantasy"),roller skating, some serious daisy dukes and a psychic hand puppet (!?) that warns "DANGER! DANGER!" just like the LOST IN SPACE robot and recommends hitchhiking as one of the best ways to pick up men!

This filmed-in-Florida mess is so mind-numbingly awful that multiple viewings are recommended to soak it all in. And, hey isn't that NYPD Blue's Detective Jill Kirkendall turned CNN newscaster Andrea Thompson as one of oft-nude bimbos? Sure is! Supposedly this was started in 1982 and new footage was added later for the video release in 1985.

Score: 1 out of 10 (and I mean that in a good way!)