I'll admit, I found the thought of watching this painful. To say I'm not a fan of the Wayans is an understatement of giant proportions. But I have to admit, within a few minutes I was smiling and laughing despite this predisposition. I think the problem with the Wayans is when they get together they aren't funny anymore. But individually, they have the potential to add to a movie greatly.

So it is with Major Payne. Wayans' nasal speech pattern could have been intensely aggravating, yet somehow it came across as just right. Neither too strong nor too whiney. The kids all give great supporting roles and nobody lets the film down.

Another plus for this movie (at least as far as I was concerned) was its absolute failure to be anything like politically correct in regard to Payne's treatment of the kids under his charge. Too often these days we see movies that are soppy wet and dripping with syrupy goodness. It makes a pleasant change to see a film where that doesn't go on. Well, at least for the most part. Payne does "mellow" somewhat as the film progresses, but not to the point of a complete character reversal, thank god.

Highlight of the movie for me was Payne's version of the "Little Engine that Could", as recited to a six year old. The story starts off normally, but steadily involves less and less "Little Engine" and more and more "'Nam" tales! The way that Payne throws out the horrors of war during the telling is just hysterical.

Of course, it is a feelgood movie so you know everything will work out in the end. That doesn't stop you smiling the whole way through, or of hanging on Payne's every utterance (which are nearly always hilarious).

I guess the movie is not for everyone, but take it from me (as an avowed Wayans hater!) that this movie is worth your time. If you don't like it by the time Payne does his "Failure to communicate!" line then maybe it isn't for you. As for me, well, it's forced me to re-evaluate my opinion of the Wayans clan somewhat.

Maj. Benson Payne (Damon Wayans) is a super soldier, except he has failed to get a promotion for the second time and gets discharged. He finds his killing skills have little use in civilian life. His only job is to command a local school's JROTC program for a bunch of ragtag misfits. He finds his skills are not really appreciated by the kids either.

Damon Wayans is doing a pretty funny bit here, but it could be tiresome at times. The good part is the kids. They all learn a good lesson and we have a good laugh over it. Sure he's a cartoon character, but that's what we expect. Nobody is expecting Shakespeare.

If this is someone's "favorite" movie, they need some serious help. There is nothing funny or clever about this crapfest. I haven't seen the original movie this is the remake of (some 1950s film),but it simply has to be better than this newer bastardization.

A major gets kicked out of the military for being a fringe element, and winds up teaching children at an ROTC school. Unfortunately, the major is Daman Wayans... so the children are in for a world of annoying, humorless asininity. Can Wayans whip these losers into shape? Can they get him to become a little more human? The film bombs as most Wayans films do, with only a few sparkling moments. William Hickey gets about one minute of screen time, fair too little. This charming old man (known best to me as a "Tales from the Crypt" actor, known best to you as Uncle Louis from "Christmas Vacation") shines every moment he's on screen, which isn't much here.

Bam Bam Bigelow also makes an appearance as a biker, which fits him perfectly. I wouldn't mind slightly more Bam Bam, but I think he carried the role of "biker" about as far as it could be carried for a military film.

And then there's the attractive teacher, who someone falls for Major Payne even though he treats the kids poorly, has no social skills and is simply impossible to convert into someone you would want to spend time with. She must either be incredibly stupid or incredibly desperate. I'm not sure which (though it would seem "stupid" since the movie makes it clear she gets out of the house often enough).

Wayans had one shining moment: a dance sequence where he performs a series of moves (including a very nice "robot"),and with the help of music from 2 Live Crew. This scene was enjoyable but hardly made up for anything else that made this film dog spittle.

Seriously, avoid this film. If you want to see a film a bout a loser who helps loser kids become heroes, rent or buy "Ernest Goes to Camp". At least he's a lovable loser, and actually funny. Maybe if Major Payne had fought a badger I'd feel better, but he didn't. Forget Payne, forget Wayans... you can do so much better.