The brave and mighty Hercules (an earnest, but extremely inept performance by brawny behemoth Lou Ferrigno of "The Incredible Hulk" fame) must rescue fair maiden Cassiopea (ravishing Ingrid Anderson) from the foul clutches of the wicked King Minos (William Berger, who somehow manages to keep a straight face while saying all this laughable philosophical hogwash) and his equally evil, yet bodacious daughter Ariadne (buxom blonde B-flick bombshell Sybil Danning vamping it up with deliciously lip-smacking brio). Helpful good sorceress Circe (the insanely gorgeous Mirella D'Angelo) assists Hercules on his valiant quest. Writer/director Luigi Cozzi crams this delightfully dreadful dimestore dreck with all the right wrong stuff: a ridiculously pointless opening montage about the creation of man and the universe, uproariously rinky-dink (much less than) special effects, a blithely silly script, lousy dubbing, larger-than-life hammy villains, an absurdly serious tone, clumsy occasional use of strenuous slow motion, and a ludicrously solemn narrator are all so outrageously funny and preposterous in their jaw-dropping badness that the whole ghastly mess plays like some kind of sly deadpan spoof of chintzy low-rent fantasy schlock. Among the unintentionally hilarious highlights are baby Hercules crushing the heads of two deadly serpents, Hercules beating up a bear and tossing the beast into space, Hercules battling a giant robot bee, Hercules unleashing a river to clean a filthy horse stable, a huge three-headed Tonka toy mechanical dragon, and Hercules using a massive stone to make a magical chariot fly. Pino Donaggio provides a suitably robust'n'rousing full-bore orchestral score while Alberto Spagnoli's glossy cinematography gives the picture an appropriately gaudy'n'glittery look. An absolute gut-busting kitschy riot.

I love Hercules movies. From Steve Reeves to the Bava helmed Hercules in the Haunted World, some of the most entertaining films I've watched have been about the adventures of the son of Zeus and Alcmene. I've probably already related how much I love the movies of Luigi Cozzi, too. From Starcrash to Contamination, his movies never let you down. They're ridiculous spectacles, packed with stop animation, bombastic scores and increasingly insane plots. I feel bad for anyone who dislikes either Hercules or Cozzi movies. And woe be to anyone who dislikes this one!

Following the success of Conan the Barbarian, this was an opportunity for the Italian film industry to return to the peblum sword and sorcery films that they once did so well decades before.

Originally announced to be directed by Bruno Mattei from a Claudio Fragrasso script (it was shot at the same time as The Seven Magnificent Gladiators, which does boast the talents of both),Hercules stars Lou Ferrigno from TV's The Incredible Hulk.

You have to respect any movie that doesn't start with people and instead is all about Pandora's Jar. That's right - it wasn't a box. It was made up of all the elements - night, day, matter and air - which aren't really elements. It blew up and made the planets. Look - if you're going to start questioning logic, there's no way you're going to enjoy this movie.

Pandora's Jar led to the creation of Earth, but it also led to evil being set loose to have its way on the world. So Zeus decides to create a symbol of goodness in his son Hercules. By the way, instead of living on Mt. Olympus, the Pantheon lives on the moon and are played by some of the heavy hitters of Italian cinema: Rossana Podestà as Hera, Delia Boccardo as Athena, Eva Robin's as Dedalos and Claudio Cassinelli as Zeus himself!

Much like Moses, baby Hercules' parents are murdered and he's sent on a raft to safety. Unlike Moses, lil' Herc kills two snakes with his bare hands. And then he's raised in a simple village, where things are pretty simple until a bear kills his father. Hercules responds by throwing the bear into space and turning it into stars. I can't do this scene any justice. You just have to see it for yourself.

Hercules ends up in conflict with King Minos (William Berger, who was in seven Jess Franco movies) and Ariadne (Sybil Danning!),who force him to do things like clean up horse stables. Our hero also falls in love with Cassiopea while battling the mechanical monsters that Minos has under his command.

Hercules ends up getting help from Circe, a witch who is played by Mirella D'Angelo from Tenebrae. She's way more interesting and attractive than Cassiopea, but she's also a witch and therefore, doomed to fall in love with the big lug and die as a result. Oh yeah - Bobby Rhodes shows up as Xenodama, the King of Africa!

At the end of it all, Hercules must rescue his love from the fires of the Phoenix, as well as a clockwork centaur. He then doesn't believe that she is Cassiopea. He asks if she is Ariadne or Circe playing a trick. She responds that she is all of and none of those women and they embrace, with their silhouettes being framed against the heavens.

There are so many moments in this movie that are going to make you feel like you're on drugs, like every time Hercules punches things lighting comes out of his hands. But man, there is so much awesome in here, like the whole ride across the river Styx, every single monster, the sets and the outfits that the ladies wear. This is a movie made for entertainment and shutting off your brain. It does its job very well.

Cheesy greatness from Cannon and those geniuses Golan-Globus combines post-Star Wars science fantasy with 1960s Italian sword & sandal movies. The pre-credits history of the universe is highly informative. I never realized that's how it all came to be. My teachers were liars. Lou Ferrigno is an impressive sight to behold, for sure. Each of his pecs is bigger than my head. Zeus looks like Jon Stewart with a crown and fake beard. Sexy Sybil Danning isn't in this nearly enough but is enjoyable when she is. Ingrid Anderson is gorgeous and her revealing outfit in the latter half of the movie made me drool.

The dubbing, special effects, sets, and costumes are all cheap but fun. The stop-motion mechanical monsters are beyond cute. The highlights of the movie are Hercules' many impressive feats of strength, such as hurling a bear into space and creating the constellation Ursa Major or pushing apart two bodies of land and creating the continents of Europe and Africa. Again, my teachers were liars. Watch baby Hercules kill the snakes -- that poor baby didn't understand what the heck they had him doing!

This is an entertaining movie. I really don't see how you cannot find it fun to watch. Granted, most of that fun comes from the unintentional comedy it produces but that's still something, right? If I have to watch a movie that is technically and artistically lacking in any kind of quality, I would rather it be a movie like this that has some comedic value than some boring A-list movie that has me sitting on my hands the whole time.