Since the start of the century or so, there seemingly exists an additional new sub-genre within the world of action/thriller cinema, which is best described as "Shoot 'em Up" films. "Shoot 'em Up", starring Clive Owen, itself is obviously a good example, but there's also "Crank", "Hardcore Henry", "Free Fire", "Taken" and this "Everly". You guessed it; - these are films with very thin plots and without any proper character development, but they primarily focus on non-stop violent action, excessively over-the-top gunfire action and a practically immeasurable body count. They are entertaining if you're in a completely undemanding mood, I reckon, but they are quite unmemorable as well. Moreover, despite all the action and bloodshed, these films are actually sort of boring, because they constantly repeat the same old "bang-bang-you-are-dead" routine.

The sole difference between "Everly" and the aforementioned titles is that the indestructible killing machine here is a woman; - and one of the sexiest specimens on the planet, I may add. In fact, one might even shallowly state that any film starring Salma Hayek in a tight and bloodied tank top is worth checking out, regardless of the quality. Hayek, pushing 50 but still looking as fit as a 28-year-old, depicts the private luxury prostitute of an Asian crime lord, locked up in a fancy apartment. One day, however, Everly decides she doesn't want to be Taiko's prisoner anymore. The film opens with a heavily injured Everly and a room full of dead Asian gangsters already. I feared the script would be another structural mess with flashbacks but, to my surprise, the plot simply continues from there onwards and Everly only takes on new and other opponents. She tries to reach her mother and estranged 4-year-old daughter, and she receives help from a slowly dying but remorseful Asian she refers to as "Dead Man". Apart from a few notable highlights, including the battle of the prostitutes and the sickening games of the aptly named The Sadist, "Everly" is mundane and passable. The violence is really graphic, but never shocking or even remotely upsetting because writer/director Joe Lynch ("Wrong Turn 2") couldn't decide if he wanted a serious or a light-headed film.

Everly (Salma Hayek) is an overworked woman who has had it with her boss and her job. Unfortunately, her employer doesn't have much of a retirement plan so when he wants her terminated, he really means it. Having not seen her family in four years and wanting a better work/life balance, she takes her frustrations out on her co-workers who are also angry at not getting a Christmas bonus. Her family also gets treated poorly when they visit her at work. The special effects crew worked overtime on what starts out as an action/thriller but soon morphs into a very, very dark comedy that'll make you appreciate having the opportunity to work from home. The beautiful Hayek shows off her acting chops whether it's taking a stand against workplace sexual harassment or using a machine gun against the HR department. Die Hard and It's A Wonderful Life both take a back seat to this Christmas gem. You'll have to watch it to see if everyone lives happily ever(ly) after.

Very few films make me cringe due to their sheer ineptitude, but EVERLY is such a film. It combines absolutely horrid direction - by a guy who did WRONG TURN 2 and who can't decide on whether he wants to make a serious action flick or a comic book style piece of hyper-entertainment - and a terrible script by a guy who thinks substituting proper dialogue for expletive-laden inanity is the way to make a film sound good. Wrong, buddy.

It's a pity, because the premise is one I'd enjoy if done correctly: a woman is assailed in her apartment by a Yakuza gang intent on wiping her out. But the problems pile up from the word go, particularly with the extremely embarrassing scenes of the female prostitutes/assassins early on. Most directors tell their performers to tone down their performances, but the non-actors here go over the top for all their worth, leading to some awful moments.

In addition, we get another non-performance from a clearly out-of-her-depth Salma Hayek, who's never been much of an actress and who flounders in a lead role. Still, the cameraman is more interested in shooting down her top than trying to capture any kind of real emotion from her. There's a lot of action here, and some sadism, but it's mostly dire, and the single location style set-up is done better in B-movies such as SUSHI GIRL. Occasionally it has moments of worth - the sub-plot with Togo Igawa promises a few moments of TOKYO GORE POLICE-style surrealness, and Akie Kotabe is very good - but overall EVERLY is a disastrous attempt at film-making.