Another self-produced and distributed vanity film by - yes, really - director, producer, writer, distributor, AND star Tom Malloy. Even seeing two of these credits listed simultaneously is a red flag for some of the most talented names in the industry, and this auteur is clearly not going to be accused of talent. The Tommy Wiseau vibes are thick in this 93-minute mess, a confused mishmash of boring, unfunny clichés desperately pushed through strained paces. One thinks he should perhaps stop trying, and knows that this is another film to miss. Dance fans have many less inept options to choose from. (1/10 stars)
Ask Me to Dance
Ask Me to Dance
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Jack is an I/T programmer, a great guy, unlucky in love. Jill is a graphic designer, a great gal, and just as unlucky. They have no idea they are destined to be together. On a starry night, Jack and Jill separately meet a gypsy lady who tells them they will meet the love of their life before midnight at the end of the year, which happens to be only five days away. The countdown begins, and both Jack and Jill go on a series of horrible and hilarious dates, each worse than the next. Each time, they barely miss meeting each other. New Years Eve is getting closer. Will the gypsy's prophecy come true? Will they meet and fall in love?
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Another vanity project
The film felt like a series of skits written by high school aged males with no experience with relationships or adult behavior that thought, "Let's make a Rom-Com movie." The structure is disjointed having no flow. The roles are shallow caricatures of folk with no substance. I've seen better productions of high school plays than this. It's about a man and a woman who like dancing whose destiny is to meet in a few days and fall in love. In the meantime, they have crappy dates with shallow people with one note personalities that would send any sane person running mixed in with bits of dancing. Sort of like a Rowan & Martin's Laugh In party sketch for the length of the movie. They finally meet at a wedding reception where one wonders why those who wed even bothered. The last few minutes where the two finally meet is the only part that made some sense.p.
This Is Not A Dance Movie
Briana Evigan fans may go into this film thinking it's a dance movie. Instead you get a 90 minute episode of Love American Style. The over-the-top humor is so ham-handed it's not even mildly cute. Writer/Director Tom Malloy spends the entire film mugging at the camera. The supporting characters are so unbelievably stupid, they can't be taken seriously. There's a scene featuring Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle that feels as if it's from an Ed Wood horror film. If Siskel and Ebert were still alive, there's no doubt this movie would have been their Dog-Of-The-Week. Nobody should ever give Tom Malloy another penny to make another film.