Forget the horrible second film in the series (ANACONDA 2: HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID) as ANACONDA III is a much better production and in much the same spirit as the ultra-cheesy original. Yes, this is a cheapo B-movie TV production, filled to the brim with cheesy CGI, bad acting and a script that goes around in circles for ages. But it's also a whole lot of fun.

B-movie fans will be in their element with this action-packed storyline, which sees a pair of gigantic killer snakes on the loose, pursued by a pack of bounty hunters with material reward in mind. Half the film consists of David Hasslehoff and John Rhys-Davies trying to outdo each other in terms of scenery-chewing, and the rest consists of the fake-looking snakes ripping up the human cast members in increasingly gory ways.

Yes, this is a film all about the kills, and they're satisfyingly bloody by genre standards, about the same as in my other cult favourite, AZTEC REX. Watching a series of poor actors getting munched on is an often hilarious experience, and it helps the film run along smoothly. ANACONDA III: OFFSPRING is certainly no classic, but I enjoyed the heck out of it.

While researching an offspring of anaconda with transgenic for saving lives discovering cure for cancer and Alzheimer in the facility of Wexel Hall Pharmaceutics, the CEO Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies) refuses to invest in a larger tank and more security and staff as advised by the head of the project, Dr. Amanda Hayes (Crystal Allen). When he focuses a light in the tank, the anaconda attacks and breaks out the confined facility. Murdoch hires a team leaded by the mercenary Hammett (David Hasselhoff) to destroy the animal.

What a crap this lame "Anaconda III" is! This collection of clichés is awful, not funny, noisy and ridiculous, with terrible screenplay, acting and CGI. I believe the anaconda likes dyed blonde since the beast attacks everybody but the twenty-nine year old scientist along the story. Do not waste your time like I did is my final advice. My vote is one.

Title (Brazil): "Anaconda 3"

When you see the title, Anaconda 3, you know what to expect, or what not to expect. Do NOT expect witty lines, intelligent plot, Oscar-winning acting, breathtaking CGIs or scientifically accurate factual details. Instead you can look forward to experiencing extremely awkward acting, dull and one-dimensional characters, very cheesy lines, supremely crappy CGIs, or in other words, a film that has not one single reason speaking for its existence.

The only reason I'm giving this pile of dung one point is the unintentional (?) comedic value. You cannot watch this movie without busting out laughing every three minutes.

So, do not go and watch this movie in order to see horror, gore, thrill or action, because all you get is a very hungover looking David Hasselhoff repeating cheesy lines and waving a embarrassingly crappy gun with a "hot" (meaning super annoying) blonde "doctor" chick on his arm as they sprint around an East-European forest after two CGI snakes that look like they were designed by a three year old.