Amazingly NOT the worst Amityville film, but not far off
This is a new low. Even for me.
Virtually impossible for this review to contain spoilers because this film already came out spoiled.
In this one, there is a camp ground on the site of the original Amityville house... only for some reason it's in the UK now. I've no idea.
I presume this is a different timeline to Amityville Asylum (one of the three worst films ive seen in my life) where an asylum was apparently built on the site of the original Amityville house.
Getting into the film itself... while the photography is actually pretty good the dialogue is as generic as you can imagine. Virtually every single death happens off screen. The scarecrow costume is an over-the-counter job. The score is very obviously free stock music. A "police officer" turns up whose costume is basically what you'd dress your kid in if they told you 15 minutes before school that it was "dress like a cop day" and you had to make a costume from household goods. The acting is (in the most part) a genuine embarrassment.
The cynic in me is 90% sure this film was only made as an excuse for the production to get an exemption from strict quarantine and lockdown restrictions in the UK - and have a good old get-together with their pals while the rest of the country couldnt even visit family. The chance of them intending to make this as a piece of lasting art to entertain future generations is zero.
It's only by virtue of the fact that I'm a weird freak, who deliberately seeks out terrible and extremely low budget films, that this ISN'T the worst film I've ever seen.
Reviewed by kbtoys1003 / 10
The amount of time it took me to think of that title pun is the same time it took the filmmakers to work on this movie.
An estranged family inherits their dead mothers campground (the land was a cornfield that never could grow corn *spoooooky*
One sister slept with the others husband long ago and now they hate each other. Much to one's dismay, they decide to try and fix the camp up and make a go of it. Unfortunately there happens to be two murderous scarecrows on the grounds.
Typical of most of today's low budget horror from the UK, Amityville Scarecrow looks nice. Lighting and cinematography are competent. The actors are mostly decent, with the only exception being the sister Mary - her shrill voice and angry attitude make you want the scarecrow to off her asap. Music and sound design are also pretty poor, I would be surprised if the music wasn't all free stock tracks, and the audio in several scenes has an extremely loud sound floor of wind, likely to mask that the audio was recorded with that same noise I would guess.
How about what we are here for: the horror content? The scarecrow costume is basically a higher end Halloween costume, but it looks decent. The kills however are uniformly awful. Most kills are offscreen and we get a body with a dribble of blood from its mouth.
If they had spent some money on even rudimentary special effects and provided some gore, Amityville Scarecrow could have been a passable slasher flick, instead, we get another in the ever growing long list of terrible Amityville flops.
Oh, and how does this relate to Amityville you ask? Well it seems that the High Hopes house was located on the land and torn down to build this campground. How Long Island has mysteriously transported to the English countryside is not mentioned.
Reviewed by BandSAboutMovies2 / 10
I never sleep
Is Amityville Cornfield a better title? I don't know. Nor can I comprehend how one family can have so many unmatching accents, but if I have learned anything, it's don't watch sixty Joe D'Amato movies in a week followed by three Amityville movies because you start to see the world as a very weird place. Don't follow my path.
Tina and Mary are sisters who can't agree on what to do with the land their mother gave them when she died, land that could never grow corn and was probably haunted and will surely end everyone's lives. Then again, Tina did steal Mary's husband, so you can understand why they are fighting.
There's a scarecrow that gets possessed by the spirit of a child-touching handyman so...you know, I guess there's an Elm Street in Amityville. That said, the scarecrow looks pretty scary in a few scenes, which is more than you can usually expect from these films.