I love the guys at Wild Eye. After reading our Letterboxd list of Amityville movies*, I got an email from them that said, "Have you seen Amityville Island yet?"

Look, when a movie has the tagline "For God's sake, get out of the water!" you know I'm probably going to have to watch it. Throw in the fact that it was directed by Mark Polonia (along with Paul Alan Steele) and I knew I was going to be spinning this, probably while my wife was asleep so that she didn't cast a gaze at me that said, "You really will watch anything if Amityville is in the title."

Several girls are brought to a small island where they are subjected to genetic experiments that involve both humans and animals. Right away, we have a women in prison, a science gone wild story and a government conspiracy flick all at the same time, but to complete this buffet, we learn that one of the girls killed people inside the house on 112 Ocean Avenue.

Perhaps the finest movie to ever be made for $30,000 in Wellsboro, PA, Amityville Shark succeeds just because it exists. It's packed with a CGI shark, CGI blood, stock footage, a possessed woman blasting a dude through his PC and lines like, "She's from Amityville, what are you gonna do?" and "High quality dirtbags are getting harder and harder to find."

Oh yeah - there's also a zombie that shows up before the end of this movie.

Of course there is.

You know, if we put low budget filmmakers in charge of solving COVID-19, I bet their ingenuity and ability to work with no money would solve it in no time. Or maybe we'd have female prisoners fighting in basements while random dudes in officers yell into their landlines. Either way, this time, we can all win.

I hope Mark Polonia reads this and hears my request: Please make a movie where the apes from Empire of the Apes ride sharks.

*Polonia also made Amityville Exorcism and is due to make Shark Encounters of the Third Kind this year.

Mark Polonia has an Amazing Knack for combining Horror Genres in a Tongue-In-Cheek Nostalgic Manner ; & 'Amityville Island' may be the wildest installment yet ! There's man-made Monsters , a Demonic Doll , a Possessed Mom , some Dreadful Surprises , & a Man-Eating-Shark Controlling the Waters ! Lovely Jamie Morgan begins the Festivities as 'Kelly Jo Knight' , a Loving Mother of four with a Dead Husband Overseas , who watching over her family as Best She can until the inevitable happens & She winds up on Death-Row with the Beautiful Danielle Donahue as the Volatile Arsonist 'Renata' ! The Man who excels at playing Mad-Scientists , Jeff Kirkendall , is at his Very Best as 'Dr. Ormand' ; & James Carolus masters the role of 'Dr. Tyler' , an Evil Degenerate with a Taste for his Subjects . Titus Himmelberger is 'Eric Cates' , a Reporter trying to uncover the goings on of Amityville Island ; & Steve Diasparra as 'Ellison' & Tim Hatch as 'Hayden' are the Muscle for their Crooked Racketeer 'Boss' portrayed by Mark Polonia Himself . Eolie Canales is superb as the Dazed & Confused Real Estate Agent 'Nikki McPartland' , Provocative Marie DeLorenzo is the Diturbed 'Melanie' , & Alluring Cassandra Hayes as the Penitent 'Tamika' or 'Tammy' to Dr. Tyler ! If Your Not a Fan yet of Polonia Brothers Films , This is a Great Introduction into their Wonderful World ; & if You already are , You know the Joys to Expect , & Here they are A'Plenty !

So, a nurse in a gas mask with axe killed everyone in a house, which thus became hunted. The demon possessed a white woman who therefor transformed a black woman, who got arrested for killing her own children, then is transfered to Fantasy Island, where a mad scientist creates zombies, from where she breakes out with the demon's possessinig power and the help of another inmate. In the end the demon becomes practicaly Jason X: a mutant undead nanobot immortal being, while the protagonist lady gives birth the the MK Ultra Supersoldier.

If you liked this, try the art of Neil Breen too.