Almighty Thor

2011

Action / Adventure / Fantasy

Plot summary


Uploaded by: FREEMAN

Top cast

Kevin Nash Photo
Kevin Nash as Odin
Patricia Velasquez Photo
Patricia Velasquez as Jarnsaxa
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU
845.95 MB
1280*534
English 2.0
NR
23.976 fps
1 hr 32 min
P/S 0 / 8
1.7 GB
1920*800
English 5.1
NR
23.976 fps
1 hr 32 min
P/S 0 / 5

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by cpeter1333 / 10

Well, Marvel's got nothing to worry about...

I caught this on Syfy, and I wish I could make them take it back. The plot centered around Loki trying to destroy the earth by killing Yggdrasill, the tree of life. I don't remember if either Thor or Loki mention it by name; I got the impression they couldn't pronounce actual Nordic terms if their paychecks depended on it. Not only this, but Loki keeps talking about Ragnarok, and it is obvious the writers had no idea what the term means. They would probably also call people in a blimp "the Rapture." Anywhoo, the whole plot requires Loki to steal Thor's hammer. Why this is difficult is never made clear, because Thor is a major beefcake meathead. He sounds like a surfer and spends most of the movie looking like he needs a diaper change. Some woman named Jarnsaxa spoon-feeds him every move, which is amazing because she is practically unintelligible--a fact made even more painful when they do vocal effects and her words could not be deciphered even by CIA software.

I won't spoil the ending, because the director and writer already did that. Suffice it to say that it involves a trip to Hell; not HEL, the Nordic afterlife and the goddess thereof, but basically the Christian Hell--fire, lava, the whole ball of melting wax.

Watch this if you need a good laugh; there isn't an ounce of real heroism or grandeur in the whole mess. My biggest disappointment was Richard Grieco, who can be an effective menace but here comes across as a street punk with a wand and a skin condition.

Reviewed by nogodnomasters1 / 10

I WANT THE HAMMER

The film opens with setting graphics that appear to have been used on Super Nintendo. Loki (Richard Grieco) the adopted Italian son of Odin, doesn't show him any respect as he attempts to take over and destroy creation by getting the Hammer. Thor, with the aid of the Venezuelan accent Jarnsaxa (Patricia Velasquez) work to defeat Loki in the streets of the Asylum picture studio in LA.

As horrible as that sounds it was worse. Thor was a mouth breather who had a deer-in-the-headlight look the whole movie. He wasn't given many lines to memorize, which is just as well, because they were pretty bad. The early battles played exciting music while the fighters moved in slow motion and not very well choreographed as they had to cut away about every 2-3 seconds of motion.

Asylum made for SyFy channel.

Reviewed by paul_haakonsen2 / 10

You have to muster all your strength for this one...

First of all I have to mention two things. First of all, I am part Danish and part Norwegian so the Norse mythology is in my heritage and in my blood. Secondly, I can't claim to be overly much fan of the Marvel "Thor" movie neither.

But this SyFy Channel attempt to swing at the Norse mythology was just painful and offensive. Given it being a SyFy Channel production gives it a certain degree of leniency, because they usually put out some rather questionable movies. Though it should be said that once in a rare while they do hit a home-run and put out something worthwhile. However, "Almighty Thor" was definitely a swing and a miss of the worst kind.

As with most SyFy Channel productions the CGI is questionable or downright laughable. And they didn't fail on that aspect in "Almighty Thor". The CGI animated creatures were such an eyesore and the special effects, with ironic emphasis on special, were nothing to write home about.

I could understand the poor attempt at a storyline here, despite the obvious holes and mistakes, but their choice in who were on the cast list. Wow! That just simply puzzles me beyond comprehension. I am sure that Cody Deal (playing Thor) is good at whatever he has made prior to and after "Almighty Thor" (though I can't claim to have seen him before or since),but as the god of thunder, he was just not the best of choices. I couldn't take him seriously in the role; it was like watching a buffed version of Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder) just with a better haircut. And as for Richard Grieco (playing Loki),what was up with that make-up? He looked like he was a methamfetamine addict, and it was difficult to take him serious in the role as well. Then to further upset the scale, enter Patricia Velasquez (playing Jarnsaxa) with that heavy Latin accent, it just didn't fit into the movie at all.

Now, "Almighty Thor" isn't all bad. Believe it or not, there was some upsides to the movie. And that was the costumes. I enjoyed the armor and costumes that they used in the movie. Lots of nice details there.

In overall, watching "Almighty Thor" was like watching a group of people running around acting out a LARP (Live Action Role Playing) event. It was just dreadful, and a major slap in the face to anyone who respects or pays tribute to the Norse pantheon.

Come to think of it, I think they actually got the title wrong, I think it was meant to be titled "Almighty Bore" and not "Almighty Thor". Sure seemed that way from the lack of energy and entertainment value to this production.

I've seen a heap of SyFy Channel productions over the years, and this was definitely amongst the top of the chain as in terms of being bad!

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